Looking Back - Looking Forward

I'll be honest - I haven't had much time to think about either 2010 or 2011. Most of 2010 was given to transition: thinking about the possibility of moving; sending resumes and cover letters; waiting for responses; interviewing; thinking about the reality of moving; saying many, many good-byes; moving; a new job; temporary housing times 2; new schools; a new church; new friends; house hunting; moving again; and just this week, getting settled into a new neighborhood. I am exhausted in many ways, and just as excited about the future in numerous other ways. 2010 will be remembered as a year of transition with a high level of uncertainty and stress. At the same time, 2010 will also be remembered as a year filled with many blessings. Our family is maturing (sort of); we have jobs; health care; and provision for all of life's necessities, plus more.

My friend, Robin, inspired me to consider one word for 2011. I believe my word is RELATIONSHIP. My lack of personal connectedness in recent years has really worn on me. In 2011, I plan to be more intentional in building connectedness with Steve, Tanner, and Tyler. I also plan to be more intentional in seeking relationship with new families, couples, and girl friends. Oh, how I miss laughing 'til in hurts, and deep discussions into the night, and sharing tears of sadness and happiness. Finally, I want to help my boys find depth of friendship in Nampa - especially Tanner. I would love your prayers on his behalf.

A second area of focus for 2011 is scripture memory. Some of you may remember my goal for 2009 - to memorize 2 pieces of Scripture a month for one year (I completed the goal, BTW). This focal point is based on a movement of women on Beth Moore's blog. This goal changed my life in 2009, and I look forward to experiencing God through memorizing His Word in 2011. Tomorrow is January 1, and I am awaiting His guidance in choosing my first piece to memorize....

Finally, I continue to grow in the area of healthy living, cravings, choices, and discipline. I made progress in 2010, but I have some mental and spiritual work ahead of me in 2011. I will begin by reading and participating in Lysa TerKuerst's "Made To Crave" book, participant guide, web casts, etc. The subtitle is "Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God Not Food" which pretty much sums up this area of my life. I love Lysa - she is real, she is Godly, she is funny! She sent me a copy of her manuscript for this book, and she quoted my blog, but I don't know if I made the editorial cut. I need to read the book to find out - ha!

Well, that about does it. I've shared what's on my mind as 2010 comes to a close. It was a good year - albeit a challenging one. I love new beginnings, so 2011 holds great hope in my heart. May God bless you, my dear friends who share this journey!

Tracht Family Christmas Letter 2010

The Tracht Family Christmas 2010

I feel like I begin every Christmas letter with some kind of phrase identifying the past year as one filled with change. Once again, The Tracht Family has experienced great change…. Preparation for this change began more than a year ago, and change continues to this day. In a sentence, we moved from Mount Vernon, Ohio to Nampa, Idaho. Everything is new and different!

Tyler is 10 years old, and in 5th grade at Sunny Ridge Elementary. He plays soccer – both traditional and indoors. He’s become obsessed with the National Football League, and fantasy football. Heaven help us! Tyler’s sense of humor keeps us on our toes – his one-liners are hilarious. He enjoys school, and has his first male teacher this year. Mr. Bright has certainly brightened our transition; he is an answer to prayer. Tyler came home from school one day with a concern: “I think I may be the teacher’s pet." Mr. B moved several times as a child, and he’s taken a very active role in helping Tyler adjust to Nampa!

Tanner will be 13 in December – oh my! He is in 7th grade at South Middle School. He loves soccer in both the fall and the spring. The transition to Idaho was tough, and it weighed heavily on our hearts. To ease the pain, we bribed Tanner to join a soccer team within days of our arrival. Steve and I did not realize that Grandpa Gordon had also bribed him…. Needless to say, Tanner was the highest paid player on his U14 team! In addition, he recently completed a career assessment at school. The assessment advised Tanner to consider business management. So far, he’s proven himself able as his own sport’s agent.

My job led us to Idaho. I am the Director of Academic Advising & Testing/Assistant Professor at Northwest Nazarene University. Overall, it has been a wonderful transition. I consistently remind myself that I enjoy challenges, as this change is definitely stretching me in every way. I see the hand of God making the way for me to walk forward. Sometimes I long for the safety of the familiar, but mostly I look to the future with excitement. I lost my Grandpa Keller this year, and I miss his earthly presence. In January ‘10, the day after I returned to Ohio from his funeral is the day that the tangible steps towards Idaho began….

Steve left his job in Ohio without a secure position in Idaho. This was a step of faith for our family. We relied on the statistics that accountants are needed everywhere. After submitting many applications with no responses, we began to worry a bit. Then, the floodgates opened. In one week’s time, Steve had 3 viable options on the table, with a 4th option opening up soon thereafter. In the end, Steve accepted a position at the College of Western Idaho – the fastest growing community college in the U.S. He is developing their scholarship program working with both advancement and enrollment. I am very humbled by his willingness to move for my career development, and I am very proud of his accomplishments.

As we start over this Christmas, we are reminded of our dependence on God, of His loving provision, and of His sacrifices for us. Advent is a time of waiting; waiting for the second coming of our Savior. For us, change has put us in the position of waiting in many ways: waiting for employment, waiting to sell our house, waiting for the boys to make friends, waiting to find a church home, waiting to develop community, waiting to feel confident in new positions, waiting for new ministries and purposes to be revealed, waiting to feel “at home.” In the midst of this, we believe that serving God is worth the wait as we look forward to His Second Coming someday!

I am happy to share our house address with you – please email (tracht4@yahoo.com) or Facebook me.

Merry Christmas!!

The Trachts

Mystery & Intrigue Without the Deep Darkness

I am "Blogging for Books" today! This book is the sequel to "Thirsty" - one of my first book blogs....

I love to read, but I've been experiencing a dry spell in terms of motivation. I picked up "Tandem" simply because I read the first book in this set - "Thirsty." In spite of my dry spell, Bateman hooked me within the first few pages. I couldn't put the book down!!

Most of the characters in "Tandem" are the same as in the first novel. The storyline picks up six months later in the same small Missouri town. I connected quickly with the characters, and found myself trying to tie the two novels together. The plot and character development were mysterious and intriguing in an entertaining fashion. Though I am not a fan of vampires stories, this one kept me guessing to the end.

I enjoy the intrigue without the deep darkness that both "Thirsty" and "Tandem" afford. I felt the turmoil of the characters, yet I also felt the fulfillment of relationship building. Overall, "Tandem" is a quick, entertaining read suitable for adolescents to adults. I recommend the novel!

From Fear to Recognition

Do you remember your childhood fears? Certain situations bring mine to light, and I have the opportunity to ponder them from a different perspective. I like that. Last week I was reminded of a childhood fear: What if I don't recognize Jesus at His second coming.... Is that a "normal" childhood fear? I also remember fearing that my future husband would smoke cigarettes, but that he would hide it from me until after we married. Yes, that fear is strange!

On more than one occasion, I've heard a preacher ask, "Would you recognize Jesus? Would you even like Him were He on earth today? You know, He would likely offend you!" These are questions and comments that I am likely to ponder.... Yet, this much I know: I want to experience Christ! I want to know Him. Not only do I want to recognize Him, I want to run into His arms with abandon. I'm not so much concerned about Him offending me, but I certainly don't want to offend Him!

I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord (1 Corinthians 1:4-9, NIV).

I am certain that my worldview is tainted by my life experiences in the US of A. These verses lead me to believe that my spiritual understanding does not need to be complete in order for me to recognize Jesus. It is not my human mind that matters, but it is my openness of mind that allows God to "enrich" me. Truth is not based on my intellect, but on my willingness to hear His voice, and see His presence. With all that I lack, Jesus promises to make His presence recognizable to even me as I seek Him.

The need to make sense of all that is around me utilizing intellect is overwhelming -- the kind of overwhelming that makes me want to throw in the towel. At the same time, the need to hear God's voice, and sense His presence day-to-day is invigorating. So, I choose to focus mind on the latter - the supernatural aspect of seeking and receiving Godly knowledge - to recognize Him.

Truth that Truly Matters

I am after Truth that Truly Matters. Truth that truly matters to God - not me, not denominations, not theologians, not intellectuals, not scientists, not those who focus on social justice.... There is a place at the table for all of God's children. Each one of us may learn from, and be challenged by, one another. BUT, I desire to seek God first - His Truth - the only Truth that truly matters. It's not a simple desire.

I have friends - folks I highly respect and enjoy - in each of the categories mentioned above. I am challenged by the diversity of thought represented in my relatively small community of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances. Thoughtful challenge is a good thing - a very good thing - but, more than anything, I long to be firmly grounded in God alone.

What does that mean? On earth, it doesn't mean utopia - though that's a nice thought.... It is not simple, or easy, or natural. When it comes to knowledge and understanding, there is no "finish line," or "final grade" this side of eternity. And, though I believe God's Truth is timeless and unchanging, our world (our applications) are always changing. Our human knowledge and understanding are equally fluid - stemming from our sin, and our lack of complete revelation. Earthly knowledge will never equal God's mind.

So... how do we navigate life, decisions, dissension, and change? The bottom line remains constant: An individual, personal relationship with Christ - coupled with community among those who invest likewise. The personal relationship - the personal pursuit of revelation and Truth - must never be secondary.

I am reading and studying 1 Corinthians. Will you join me?

Thankfulness

November is a month characterized by thankfulness, and I have been thinking of several things that I am thankful for this week:

• Steve had 2 interviews, and he has 2 more scheduled.
• We had 2 showings at our Ohio house last week.
• Tanner scores his first goal in Idaho.
• We've chosen a church home.

My friend, Jill, inspired me to think on the blessings of life. You can read her thoughts here.

Now's the Time

"You have searched me,
  and You know me."

You know me;
You know Steve;
You know Tanner;
You know Tyler.

You know what is best
  for me and for our family.

You know each of us
  better than we know ourselves.

You know and understand our past.
You have good plans for our future;
  it is a future filled with hope and purpose.

Therefore, I trust You.
I trust You with
  my marriage;
  my children;
  my family;
  myself.

I trust you with
  my job;
  our finances;
  our house.

It is all Yours, Lord:
  our lives;
  the family;
  our money;
  our ministry;
  the house in Ohio;
  our home in Idaho.
It's all Yours!

"You hem me in - behind and before;
You have laid Your hands upon me."

I don't need to know.
I simply choose to trust.

"Such knowledge is to wonderful for me,
  to lofty for me to attain."

You have prepared us for these moments;
  now it is time to rest in Your promises.


* Portions in quotes are from Psalm 139 (NIV).

A Gift from Chile

The enormous interest and celebration in the rescue of the Chilean miners this week exemplifies the human craving for hope and new life. How's your personal search and rescue working for you?

Women and men search far and wide for personal fulfillment - from the innermost places of our own body, mind, and spirit, to the furthest corners of the earth and space. Few find the narrow road to transformation. The journey is not for the faint of heart. The humble and the poor are more likely to find it. Transformation does not require excess. In fact, less is more in most capacities. Transformation is for those who crave it; those whose minds are open to Power beyond this world; those who give up everything to follow One thing. For those who seek to control their own destiny, another One is hard to follow. For those who seek peace form the center of one's soul to the outermost ends of the universe, there is only One way....

Hope, new life, transformation.... The Chilean miners gave the world a gift this week. So, I ask again, how is your personal search and rescue working for you?

When Weakness is Strength

For about four weeks this summer, my family of 4 was split up. I started a new job in Idaho, my boys spent some quality time in Oregon with my parents, and Steve wrapped up his work, and our house, in Ohio. It was the most difficult period of a tough transition. I felt very alone, and Steve wanted nothing more than to be in Idaho. Once the boys returned to Idaho from Oregon, they wanted nothing more than to be in Ohio; to be in their familiar routine; to forget Idaho. We were all at a weak point, to say the least!

On one particular evening, one of the boys exploded with emotion. In my aloneness, I also felt helpless and overwhelmed! So, what did I do? I exploded on the phone to Steve.... It was ugly - a definite low point!

The next morning, I read this:

God says, "My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Weakness doesn't feel good. As a matter of fact, I generally avoid feeling weak - if it is in my power. In this season of life, I feel weak much more frequently than I feel strong, so I depend on this promise: God works in weakness. From this perspective, I find purposefulness in weakness. With that, I can be thankful in weakness.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.... And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Just call me Goldie!

I only blog when I feel inspired, and you may have noticed that I've been missing from blog world. I am contemplating why I have nothing to say.... I don't know! I do know that I can not force myself to write. If silence is golden, then just call me Goldie.

This Weekend... I

• caught up on lots of lost sleep and relaxation.
• spent Friday night with new friends and puppies.
• cleaned my house, grocery shopped, & did the laundry.
• shopped at Macy's, and made some fun purchases....
• hosted my first football party in Idaho! So fun!
• laughed and cheered with true blue Boise State fans!
• packed my bags for a work trip to Nashville and Atlanta this week.
• visited another church - can't wait to come in for a landing on this decision!
• spent time with the family - ahhhh!
• thoroughly loved this three day weekend after a very full three week back to school marathon.

I think I am supposed to link this back to the creator of "This Weekend.... I," but I am too tired to figure that out - maybe next weekend! Have a great week, my friends!

First Actions Make Loud Impressions

We all know the value of making good first impressions! You know the saying, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." It's true - for the good, or for the bad! As I have completed a three week back to school marathon at NNU,  I am struck by the myriad of positive first impressions that I have experienced in action:

• More colleagues than I ever imagined appear genuinely interested in my family's well being as a result of this cross-country move. Plus, I have witnessed colleagues care for each other via meaningful actions.
• Person after person intentionally visits my office to introduce themselves to me, and to welcome me to the NNU Family. I really like it when they wear their name tags! Ha!
• At New Faculty Orientation, Faculty Retreat, Faculty Workshop, New Student Orientation, and the NNU Gathering, there is lots and lots of laughter. Laughter is a really, really good thing!
• In nearly every venue, there is genuine prayer. At the first NNU Community Chapel, the staff and faculty surrounded the auditorium while several representatives prayed over our students. Then, a student representative prayed over the staff and faculty. It was such a simple, yet deeply meaningful action.
• Appreciation is eagerly and freely expressed. At the NNU Gathering (a dinner for staff, faculty, and spouses), the University President called out half a dozen individuals to express public gratitude for a job well done - a job often unseen by others. I was very touched by this act of thanksgiving. It's funny, to witness another person being appreciated is akin to personally being appreciated. In addition, each person present was given a card to express appreciation to another individual within the community. Appreciation begets appreciation, doesn't it?!?
• I am able to walk into any meeting, lunch, or gathering among my new colleagues and KNOW that I will be noticed and welcomed into the family. I am not intimidated or lonely because they are already caring for me. In my 40 years of life, and in numerous transitions from state-to-state, and from job-to-job, I have never felt like this so early in the transition - if at all! Thank you NNU!

I know I am in the "honeymoon phase," and I wonder how I will feel in a year, 2 years, 10 years, and beyond.... A professional marketing agency noted two traits that are widely characteristic of NNU, and unique to NNU when compared to like schools: Love and humor. As I listened to the presentation  announcing these characteristics (and others), I smiled because I had already personally experienced these traits of NNU. Actions speak louder than words!

NNU's actions have made first impressions beyond mere words, and I am thankful!

It Lives & Breathes - Part 2

In relationships, in commitments, in discipline:

"Whoever sows generously will also reap generously." 2 Corinthians 9:6-15

As I ponder how God provided for us when we moved from Kansas to Ohio, I am reminded of this verse:

"Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you everything you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:32b-33

As we make this move, one of my most passionate prayers is for the spiritual growth of my boys:

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

Lord, will their hearts be hardened? Will this life experience harm them emotionally, psychologically, spiritually?

"Love the Lord your God will all your heart, and will all your soul, and with all your strength.... Impress (these commandments) on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

This is my heart.

It Lives & Breathes

In 2009, I joined Beth Moore's blogging community in memorizing 2 pieces of Scripture a month for 12 months. It was an amazing experience; it was truly life changing! While I have not continued to memorize Scripture in 2010, I have continued to journal significant pieces Scriptures throughout the year. The Word of God really lives - it does for me! It breathes life into me! Lately I have been reviewing my chosen verses of 2010, as I have pondered the leading of Lord from Ohio to Idaho. Here are a few of my thoughts via the living, breathing Word of God....

As we applied, waited, interviewed, and waited some more for the NNU job, and as we prepared, packed, good-byed, and traveled, and as we currently wait for our house to sell, for Steve to find employment, for our boys to call Idaho home:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:4-5

In trusting God, in focusing on Him rather than earthly distractions, in persevering:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

In accepting the job offer, and looking ahead:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert (the high desert of Nampa, ID) and streams in the wasteland (the life experiences that hurt at the time, but are used for a purpose bigger than my mind recognizes). Isaiah 43:18-19

So far in 2010, I have 18 such pieces of Scripture. This is just a sampling. I will share more later....

This Weekend... I

• participated in NNU's Faculty Retreat. It was a great opportunity to meet people, experience more of NNU, and relax at a beautiful campground in Cascade, Idaho. I continue to be impressed with the friendliness of the people and the camaraderie of our new NNU family.
• cheered Tyler on as he overcame a fearful opportunity, and rode a very high zip line over the trees of the forest.
• marveled at God's creation. I love, love, love the mountains and rivers of the Northwest! Maybe it's because it is so similar to the landscapes of my childhood, but mountains, evergreen trees, and water speak volumes to my soul.
• ate at Qdoba Mexican Grill, which is as close to Chipotle as we are going to get in Idaho. Unfortunately, food speaks to my soul, too....
• sensed confirmation from the Lord in regards to our move. Even though there are several significant pieces of the puzzle that need to fall into place, I know God is leading and providing perfectly.

House of Drama

Our house was the "House of Drama" last night!! The day will forever be marked by the first day of school in our new town. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for this day... yet, it still was a very difficult day for the boys. My heart was breaking.

24 hours later I am humored by each of our unique responses to the stress:

Tanner arrived home mad as a hornet, and wouldn't talk to anyone for awhile. After he and Steve had some quality father-son time, he appeared fine. I knew he was just stuffing his feelings - which is both good and bad.

Tyler arrived home fairly happy, but hit a brick wall at some point and spiraled downward for most of the evening and into the night. I call this Tyler's "drunken-man funk" because everyone knows you can't reason with a drunk man.

I ate every snack food I could get my hands on. Then, I curled up on the couch and slept the discomfort away. This approach is oh, so "effective."

Steve methodically moved from one family member to another trying to be the peacemaker-problem fixer. We are the epitome of opposites attract in these kinds of situations!!

As I processed all of this today, it made me laugh! We humans are strange people - especially when under stress.

Canaan's Fare

Since I don't seem to be finding much time to write complete blogs, I enjoy sharing quotes from my current studies. Here is another from Kelly Minter's No Other Gods (p. 175):

The Lord will not allow us to be in the desert forever. Manna is only for a season. If you are going through a lean time of wafers on your tongue and burning sand beneath your feet, this too shall pass.

Corressponding Scripture is found in Joshua 5:11-12 (NIV):

The manna stopped the day after they ate this food from the land; there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate of the produce of Canaan.

In not leaving us in the desert forever, I must remind myself that God allowed the Israelites to wander in the desert for 40 years! Personally, I get a little impatient with 40 minutes of waiting.... I am thankful for this reminder of God's perfect timing and provision. I KNOW eating Canaan's fare will be worth the wait!!

My Heart in Less Than 40 Words.

I am completing Kelly Minter's Bible study entitled "No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern Day Idols." It is a great study!! It is thought-provoking and deep, but not so much so that it becomes overwhelming. The final lines read:

With every bend, twist, and dip in the road, we proclaim God faithful. We proclaim Him good. We proclaim Him right. And mostly, we proclaim Him God. As my friend put it, "God with a capital G."

And, that my friends, sums up my heart right now!

Wait for it....

Yesterday and today I have been re-reading pages from my journal. I need a reminder of why we are in the midst of this huge life change. Change is so uncomfortable, and since this particular change appears to revolve around my work, I feel a sense of responsibility for the boys' discomfort (i.e., fears, frustrations, anger....). This move was definitely a joint decision between Steve and me, but I still feel guilty for taking the boys out of their comfort zones at this stage of their lives.

Two specific areas of my journal writing stand out to me. First, much of the outward processing that led to this move began in a small group Bible study that I participated in last summer/fall. Of the 8 women who participated, 3 of us are in the exact same transition today. In July, we moved to Idaho, another family moved to Oklahoma, and a third family moved to Indiana. We studied Esther together by Beth Moore. The following verse will forever be attached to the study and this season of life:

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14b

I am not in a royal position, but in response to the question that begs an answer -- GOD KNOWS!!! He knew a year ago, and he knows now. He knows what we really need, and what we simply think we need.... He knows!!! I find great peace in believing that God knows.

Second, on November 28, 2009, I wrote the following:

"I have this impression that You (GOD) are preparing us for something different; something that will require us to step out in faith away from our human security. Lord, I am willing; I seek Your will alone. You know us and this world better than we do at any given time. Lord, I trust You. Guide me step-by-step; show me the way."

I don't share this to make me look good. I share this because we need to share our journeys with God; to learn from one another; to see God working in tangible ways. This move is taking me further from my comfort zone than I had anticipated. Sometimes I look to God with some serious questions - especially when it comes to my kids (and our Ohio house sitting empty). I really do believe.... Oh Lord, help my unbelief.

As I re-read my journal from the past year, God's work is clear. We needed this move, and this job to fulfill His purposes on earth. Why? At this point, who knows!?! ...Wait for it... GOD KNOWS!

This Weekend... I

 

• did not prepare any posts for my blog - even though I have lots of thoughts rambling through this head of mine.
• moved into our "temporary, long-term" house. It is the guest house of a friend, and it is on the most beautiful piece of property! I feel spoiled and blessed!!!
• sent the boys to "Warrior Camp" all day, and into the night, on Saturday. It was a good experience for them, and a nice break for me and my parents.
• visited a church for the third time. We are waiting for a word from the Lord as to where we will land.
• shopped at Costco - love it!!
• took my parents out to lunch at Chapala's - yummers!
• had a slumber party in the previous house on Friday night. All 5 of us (plus the dog) slept in the living room. It was the kids' idea....
• Settled into our new place, and started counting the hours until Steve arrives!!!!!

If you want to participate in "This Weekend... I" go here.

This Weekend I....

In honor of my new friend in real life and in blog world, I am initiating a new tradition on my blog:

This weekend, I....

• can't remember what I did.
• Oh, I worked on Saturday....
• took the boys to a new pizza resturant (everything's new when you move).
• tried a new church.
• played with my dad's new i-phone (and coveted it).
• shopped at Macy's Clearance Center with Tyler in tow (it was a short trip).
• cooked at least twice.
• watched Dateline with the boys and my dad (We all went to bed feeling fearful of Shirley.).
• cleaned the bathroom, finished the laundry, and picked up Mandy's poop in the yard (gag!).
• tried really hard to lift the boys' spirits, but realized it is a task that only God can accomplish.

Have a great week - the last one of July 2010!

A Simple Quote

I haven't had time to blog this week, and Internet service is lacking in my current housing, but here is a quote to consider:

Christians, unfortunately, often talk to themselves. We think in ruts, and express ourselves in a familiar kind of family jargon. Unless we understand the thought- and value-patterns of our day, as well as those of biblical revelation and the Christian community, and unless we speak fluently the language of our contemporaries, we tragically limit our effectiveness (Holmes, 1987, p. 5-6).

Holmes, A.F. (1987). The Idea of a Christian College (Revised Ed.). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

Love it - Hate it

Control.... I love having it; I hate needing it. I love being in the midst of lacking control because I know God works mightily in these circumstances. I dislike the feeling of discomfort, but the feeling of hopeful expectancy, while I wait on God, is a good place to be, isn't it? I hate to admit it, but I do stupid things in this state of life: I try to control the uncontrollable, and this never works for long. *Sigh*

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, 

and your ways are not my ways.... 

As heaven is higher than earth, 

so My ways are higher than your ways" 

(Isaiah 55:8-9, HCSB).

Might a House be an Idol?

Kelly Minter’s (2007) No Other Gods is challenging me to uncover my idols – my functional idols, people-gods, any kind of idols. My idols are not necessarily out in the open; it is not easy for me to identify my idols, though I know that I have them. During this season of change, a possible idol I am focusing on is our house. I am not certain this is the idol that God is asking me to focus on; I am processing. Because we are in limbo with our housing, it is a natural area of life for me to consider (or maybe even obsess over).

When we moved to Mount Vernon, Ohio seven years ago, I sensed a promise from the Lord. I believe He led us to spend conservatively on our home, and in return, He promised me contentment. I have never felt as comfortable in a house than at 4 N. Edgewood Road. It was not a perfect house, but it represented the fulfillment of God’s promise to me. From there, we moved to a larger home, in a neighborhood with sidewalks, on a cul-de-sac. It was a pretty house, but I never felt the same level of contentment as with the previous house. Now, we are trying to sell the second house….

Selling is coupled with buying in Nampa. When we buy, we have choices. Do we stretch our budget a bit? Do we buy conservatively? Do we buy with the short-term or the long-term in mind? I don’t want to move again for a long, long time!!!

Minter (2007) parallels giving up our idols with Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22: 1-18. She points out that Abraham did not withhold Isaac; Abraham freely offered Isaac. She says, there is a “difference between letting something go and making it an offering” (p. 116). In the Abraham and Isaac passage, God showed up. As a result, He is known as Jehovah-Jireh, or the Lord who provides. “Provision is part of His nature…. God brought huge blessings on Abraham as a result of his obedience” (p. 117).

As I consider Abraham, I am challenged by Minter (2007) to let go of my expectations; to freely offer my idols related to housing in this transition. In considering this, I am comforted by God’s response to Abraham: He provided for Abraham, and He blessed Abraham. I know this to be true from previous personal experiences, but it is still so un-natural for the human part of me. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief….

The end of the story, sort of.

On several occasions when I was young, I picked up a new book, and read the last page before beginning the first chapter. It was a dumb thing to do! Knowing the conclusion changed the way I read the whole story. Similarly, two discussion topics cause fear to rise within me: end times and death; yet, both topics also intrigue me and give me hope. I know the conclusion, and this knowledge changes me!

I believe in heaven and hell, and I believe in Christ’s second coming to earth to save His people. Neither the finality of death, nor Christ’s Kingdom on earth scares me. In fact, I long for both. My fears are rooted in what will be faced between now and then. Most people do not thrive on pain, discomfort, and persecution. I certainly do not enjoy these attributes of suffering. Pain, discomfort, and persecution are definite aspects of end times, and the first two are likely aspects of death.

As I contemplate my current state of discomfort, and recall similar seasons from the past, I recognize a common theme: I fear what may be faced between weakness and provision. I know God has led us to Idaho, yet I feel uncomfortable with the missing pieces we are facing. Not only is our Ohio house unsold, but no one is even looking at our house. Even though Steve hasn’t started seriously looking for a job in Idaho, he doesn’t have any strong prospects on the table. We are paying rent in Idaho and a house payment in Ohio. I feel discomfort, and I feel a touch of fear relating to the unknown!! Couple this discomfort and fear with the unknowns of what my boys are facing in the transition, and my feelings are multiplied. How does one approach God during these times?

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna… to teach you that man does not live on bread along but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord… to test you so that in the end it might go well with you (Deuteronomy 8: 3 & 16, NIV).

Kelly Minter (2007) writes:

“The manna was not quite enough…. The Lord put them in this position so they would depend on Him and not on themselves, their provisions, or false gods. He wanted to do them good in the end (p. 103).

I approach God with hopeful expectancy; intrigue in how He will provide; and more dependency than ever! From this perspective, I have a renewed sense of purpose in embracing the discomfort, and in overcoming my fears. Does this make the discomfort go away? No, but believing in the end of the story changes the way I approach each new day.

I have nothing to post....

I have nothing to post. This may have something to do with the fact that my life is upside down. I am in Idaho, Steve is in Ohio, and the boys are in Oregon. I am living in a small NNU-owned home with a borrowed futon mattress, a card table, another small table/chairs, an outdoor lounge chair, a TV, and a strange variety of items that I packed in the mini-van to transport from Ohio to Idaho.

Our house in Ohio is not selling; no one is even looking at it; Steve doesn't have a job in Idaho, yet; and, the boys are extremely nervous to start school in Nampa. The dog is even stressed out! On Wednesday, July 7, I thought it was July 10 - ALL DAY! I wrote "7-10" on my checks, corressondence, HR materials.... Laying in bed on Wednesday night, I had an aha moment, "It couldn't be July 10th!" *sigh*

Yet, in everything, I have an unexplainable peace that says, "You are obeying Me. You are in the right place at the right time. I have a plan, and I will provide for you and your family."

I have nothing to post, or maybe... I do.

Another functional idol: People-gods

Truth, with a capital “T,” and idols are polar opposites. I love pondering Truth, and I often fall into idolatry. Idolatry is so much easier than Truth, you know? Kelly Minter (2007) challenges me to consider functional idols (or gods) in my life. These are areas of life that consume me; yet, these areas are not necessarily bad. They are certainly not "big sins" on the worldly sin scale.

I have listed some of my functional gods in previous posts: materialism, perfectionism…. Today Minter (2007) pulled out another dozy: “people-gods.” Oh dear, do we have to go there? Is it necessary?? I love relationships! I love deep, trusting relationships. I LOVE to laugh in relationship. What could be wrong with relationships? How do people become gods?

I remember a significant period in my life when I found great security in friendship, and particularly in having a boyfriend. It was a L-O-N-G time ago, but it is quite fresh in my memory. During that life season, if I was dating, then I felt secure. Similarly, if I held an important position, then I felt secure – particularly if the position signified that I had been chosen. In short, PEOPLE qualified my security level, and I relied on God to fill in the gaps, and/or clean up the messes.

While convenient, addictive, and sometimes fun, people-gods are also a source of insecurity, jealousy, and deep hurt. On the other hand, Godly relationships are a source of maturity, fulfillment, love, provision, and, yes, pain. As Minter (2007) describes, to have both people-gods and Godly relationships is to be double-minded. People-gods are idols, and idols leave less room for God. The ultimate point of life is to know God more fully, and to allow His transformative Truth complete authority within us, so that our lives may reflect His glory, and draw others to Him. In attempting to live double-minded lives, we are diluting His Truth, and His transformative power. The result is a powerless religion that turns people away from God and into themselves.

Hmmm, interesting stuff to ponder....

Am I Peculiar?

I remember a Sunday morning service during my childhood like it was yesterday. A missionary family was visiting our church, and they were standing in front of the congregation. They looked peculiar. For some reason, I remember watching this family, and feeling sorry for their peculiarity. Strange memory to hold for all these years, isn't it?

Perhaps this memory symbolizes something within me that I have attempted to avoid throughout my life. I love up-to-date clothing, home decor, activities, books, technology, thinking.... I don't want to be considered peculiar! Kelly Minter (2007) has challenged me to reconsider peculiarity and identity. Since I am interested in identity formation - this is reflected in my academic and professional pursuits, as well as my introspective nature - this challenge peaks my attention. Minter writes:

Who wants to be a peculiar person? Somehow it was always the extremely out-of-touch individual who was elevated to a super-holy states.... Weird somehow meant holy (p. 36).

Then in 1 Peter 2:9-12:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Based on these verses, Minter (2007) invites us to view peculiarity as goodness - as in a fruit of the Spirit. "The extreme goodness of our lives is the peculiar part. Goodness should be setting us apart in distinctive ways" (p. 38). She goes on to provide another quite profound point:

Fulfilling our sinful desires (that which is the opposite of goodness produced by Godly obedience) will snuff out this burning goodness. By indulging them we actually become the reverse of peculiar and strange. We become -- hold your breathe -- normal. For those of us seeking individualism and distinctiveness, chasing our lusts will only make us like everyone else, with little identity at all (p. 39).

I easily identified three sinful desires that keep me from displaying my identity in Christ: Materialism, recognition, and perfectionism. I don't want to be "normal" with no distinctive identity in Christ. I want to embrace every opportunity possible to know Him and be like Him for the purpose of giving God fame in this world. The three aforementioned desires are me-centered, and they are each very normal in our culture. I am not satisfied with this kind of normalcy....

In the end, I am finding that peculiarity really is my goal!

Minter, K. (2007). No other gods: Confronting our modern-day idols. Nashville: Lifeway.

P.S. If you have a teen girl that needs some inspiration in Godly peculiarity, I highly recommend Robin Jones Gunn's Christy Miller Series and Katie Weldon Series. Christy and Katie call themselves "peculiar treasures" while pursuing Godly relationships throughout adolescence and young adulthood.

As it turned out....

Ruth 2:1-3 (NIV)

"Now Naomi had a relative on her husband's side, 

from the clan of Elimelech, a man of standing, 

whose name was Boaz.

And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi,

'Let me go to the fields and 

pick up the leftover grain 

behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.'

Naomi said to her, 'Go ahead, my daughter.' 

So she went out and began to glean in the fields

behind the harvesters. 

As it turned out, 

she found herself working in a field 

belonging to Boaz, 

who was from the clan of Elimelech."

 Based on these verses, Kelly Minter writes, "It is my hope that we walk away with a heightened sense of what God is doing all around us, even in the seemingly mundane; and that we remember how purposeful He is, how intently He carves our paths, authors each stroke, and weaves our courses into others' lives" (Minter, 2009, p. 51).

As we close this chapter of our lives in Mount Vernon, Ohio, I can't help but reflect on the paths God carved for us here. He gifted us with some beautiful friendships and sweet memories - in the midst of daily living which sometimes felt mundane. Now as this season is ending, and as we say our good-byes, I see the hand of God more clearly. As it turns out, He gave us more in Mount Vernon than I realized during our  day-to-day living. I am sad to leave, but I also know that God is working forward - already carving new paths. 

He sees; He knows; He understands. 

He prepares; He protects; He provides!

Minter, K. (2009). Ruth: Love, loss, & legacy. Nashville: Lifeway.

Longing for an Invite

"We all deeply long to be 'invited to the table'"

(Minter, 2009, p. 76).

This is a KEY FACTOR in my personal insecurities. Belonging to something worthy of pride can drive me, and so can being considered a valuable member of a team. I long to experience acceptance for my abilities and contributions. It feels blessed to be chosen.

BUT....

God must be the driving force. If He is not, then belonging, value, and acceptance become idols. These idols may be functional, but they do not truly satisfy! Idols keep us from fully experiencing God.

I am 40 years old, and I am preparing to begin my first "career job." It will be tempting for me to tie my identity to my title. O Lord, keep me from that sinful desire! Do whatever it takes to remind me that my identity is in You alone. Amen.

Behind the Scenes

"God was working something out for Naomi.... 

He had long been working behind the scenes" 

Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy, by Kelly Minter, p. 43).

Isn't this what we long for? Someone working for us behind the scenes.... It is what God does, but do we really believe it? Do we pursue life according to this kind of Truth? I say that I believe it... but my fears and insecurities often tell another story!

As we are transitioning to Idaho, a part of our plan is for Steve to pursue a job that gives him the flexibility he needs to spend more time with our boys. The concept sounds great, but as we approach the actual move, my fears are pushing Steve to find any kind of job. He just smiles at me.... There is nothing like change to reveal the inner person!!

Dear God, help me to live Proverbs 3:5!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

Lean not on your own understanding.

Freedom is more satisfying than snacks and sweets!

"It's easy to kid ourselves

 and justify our behavior

 when our hearts

aren't really committed to God"

(Minter, 2009, p. 26).

I am using food as an example of life issues with which I wrestle these days. It is not that food is my only life issue, but it is an appropriate one to share in public. Believe me, I have other areas to apply God's work in my life!

Here is another Minter quote that stopped me short:

"When we grasp His love and the truth that obedience is for our freedom, we will change our circumstances to protect our environment to obey" (p. 26).

I can relate this idea to several areas of life right now.... For me to eat healthy, I can not even have one bite of snack food and dessert. For me, one bite shoots me down a road that I have very hard time controlling. I have to keep a distance in order to obey.... Might that appear legalistic to some? Yes. Do I understand myself better than they do? Yes. Do those people have the power to rescue me when I feel gross and my pants don't fit? No.

Freedom is much more satisfying than snacks and sweets!

Minter, K. (2009). Ruth: Loss, Love & Legacy. Nashville: Lifeway.

Food & Function, Hmm....

I am going back and forth between my previous Bible study and my current one.... Makes me feel schizophrenic! Today I am reflecting on Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy, but also including elements of No Other Gods (both by Kelly Minter). I read the following during Lent 2010:

Obedience to God is often wrought with a slew of obstacles that persuade us to change our minds.... Obedience might mean having to make the same choice several times in a week, month, or year (p. 24, emphasis mine).

Wow! Isn't that the Truth? This hit particularly close to home during Lent because of the tradition in giving something up for the season. Honestly, I have never been really serious about giving things up for Lent. My hesitance comes from my desire to avoid spiritualizing food; however, my heart is changing as I better understand addictions and functional gods.

Food for me is a functional god. I need it to sustain me, and it is inherently a good thing, but I use it to fill needs beyond what is healthy. When I refuse to say, "No." to more than I need, then I am plagued with either guilt, or discomfort. From there, my physical and emotional health is in jeopardy. Satan loves this god within me, darn it!

Ruth's response defines "the art of prolonged obedience" (p. 24) - a great example to follow in the midst of addressing addictions and functional gods. Naomi attempted to persuade Ruth to stay home. Ruth faced a decision involving obedience that necessitated persistence - not an easy place to be in life! God is showing me that food is the functional god to address with Him right now. It is in my face nearly 24/7. It is a typical life issue that requires persistent decisions over time. As I give it God, I am in a great position to mature in terms of obedience. In facing this idol, I am depending on God for guidance and strength more than any other area in my life.

Another functional god of mine, for another blog day, is CONTROL! Yikes!

Functional & False

Question to myself that you might be interested in: Why do I blog?

Answer to myself that you might be interested in: First, writing is my preferred mode of personal processing, and I enjoy leaving a "trail of words" to reflect upon later. Second, there in a some level of fulfillment in sharing my thoughts with others (though it is much more fulfilling to share F2F). And, if God uses my thoughts to assist anyone in pursuing Him, then there is great purpose in my sharing.

Did I tell you how excited I am about my new Bible study??? Today's QT did not disappoint. Kelly Minter's No Other Gods (2007) is touching my core, and I am only through Session 1/Day 1! Today I considered my false gods by defining them as functional.

Functional gods are those areas of life that I pursue in order to fulfill a deep craving. Many functional gods are not inherently evil. For example, I say that I believe God will provide for me, but I spend lots of time providing for myself beyond my actual needs. There is a fine line between wisdom and "over-attachment to something that is, in itself, perfectly good" (p. 15). Working is good and Godly, but working to have more and more stuff may very easily become an addiction. Eating is necessary to live, right? Unhealthy eating may very easily become an addiction that I use to meet a need within me that only God can meet. Money and food are examples of functional gods, and so are comfort, the pursuit of happiness, and the need for love and respect. All of these examples are good - to a point....

As Minter says, "A professed god is who or what we say our god is; a functional god is who or what actually operates as our god" (p. 15).

Good stuff - check our Kelly's Bible studies!

NOG: This is going to be Great!!

My new Bible study came in the mail this weekend It is another one authored by Kelly Minter. The title is No Other Gods: Confronting Our Modern-Day Idols. Minter's personal reflections quickly caught my attention:

"For so much of my life I worshiped God: singing hymns, reading my Bible, confessing my belief in Him. Yet, if you could have witnessed what controlled me, you would have seen that in many cases it was my idols. Not carved images, but people, career paths, materialism, acceptance, and more" (p. 12).

The key scripture for this study is 2 Kings 17:33 and 41 (New International Version):

³³ They worshiped the LORD, but they also served their own gods in accordance with the customs of the nations from which they had been brought. 

⁴¹ Even while these people were worshiping the LORD, they were serving their idols. To this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did.

Oh, this is going to be a great journey!! 

Weep Forward

For the past few days, I have been sharing tidbits from my latest Bible study - "Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy" by Kelly Minter.

In Session 1, Day 4, Kelly introduces the concept of "weeping forward." She writes, "Although there will be weeping in this life, the direction in which we weep is what truly matters" (p. 22). Hmmm, interesting thought, isn't it? Kelly guided me to take a look at the Apostle Paul (Acts 20:22, 36-38) and the Rich Young Man (Mark 10:17-22), as examples of people weeping in a certain direction. Paul's grief pushed him into the unknown, while the Rich Young Man's grief kept him from wholeheartedly following God.

As I read and pondered these ideas of Kelly's, I was faced with questions about directions. At times, such questions make me want to crawl in a cave and sleep (or eat) until everything goes away. In studying the Book of Ruth, with Kelly Minter and her NOGS, such questions about directions inspired me to "weep forward" straight into unknown territory. Yes, I will weep many tears in the coming days of transition, but I will look ahead through wet eyes to embrace the future God is preparing for me and my family.

Escaping or Obeying

Way back in February, I had to personally process the following quote in Minter's (2009) Bible study:

"Escaping to easier terrain is all too tempting when we're weary in hardship" (p. 14).

As I prepared my curriculum vitae for Northwest Nazarene University, and as I pondered my excitement for an invitation to interview, I had to focus upon my motivation for this pursuit. Naomi and her husband, Elimelech, left their homeland in pursuit of food and prosperity. It was not a choice that God had given them, but they pushed forward on their own accord. In pursuing a move to Idaho over staying in Ohio, Steve and I had to seek God for direction. Were we escaping, or were we obeying? How would we know the answer to that question?

I believe the need to process the question made the roller coaster of a journey, and the waiting, worthwhile. In the midst of the in-between, and in the midst of waiting, it is all too easy to be overcome with anxiety. This kind of anxiety is not of God. During these times, I sought God for specific direction and answers. During the wait, I found peace for either direction - to stay, or to go. I found myself dwelling in the contentment of the here and now until God drew me elsewhere.

Now, in the midst of the transition, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is drawing us towards this change. Such knowledge changes everything. It brings healing to hardship, it soothes anxious nerves, and strengthens weary minds.

"God's ways are not always the most practical, popular, or unopposed, but they are the most blessed" (Minter, 2009, p. 17).

Minter, K. (2009). Ruth: Loss, love & legacy. Nashville: Lifeway.

Driven or Drawn: What's the Difference?

I am finishing a Bible study. Finishing a Bible study is hard. In the midst of a good Bible study, I am motivated to learn more, to hear God speak to me, to consider the author's perspective, to journal my own thoughts, and to persevere. When it's done, I am afraid of losing momentum. My current study, "Ruth: Loss, Love, and Legacy" by Kelly Minter, is perfectly suited to my current life. It has touched me, challenged me, and sustained me in numerous ways over the past few months.

The first scripture I journaled from from this study was 1 Timothy 4:8 (NIV):

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."

Maybe I like this verse because I value godliness over physical training! Ha!

One of Minter's friends, a "NOG," (NOG stands for No Other Gods) wrote, "When it comes to my spiritual life, I feel more drawn than driven.... God does not create a frenzy of anxiousness within us where we're compelled to keep up, strive, and exist in a driven state to accomplish our own greatness. Instead, she described the quiet and peaceful process of God drawing us along in our journey" (p.74).

There are times when I feel driven to do or be something that I resist. Yet once I surrender, I immediately feel drawn. For example, I resisted the idea of moving the family again, but the discomfort I felt as a result of my resistance drew me to seek God more. In seeking God, He drew me to accept the idea of a move. When I feel driven for long periods of time, I lose heart. Being drawn brings me peace and hope!

Prayer Request: Home Sale....

Prayer Request of the Hour/Day/Week/Month - however long it takes! Our house is officially on the market. My parents are here to show it, and it is open Friday through Sunday from 1-4pm. If you think of The Trachts and our transition to Northwest Nazarene University, we would love your prayers as we sell our home. Several of our friends in Mount Vernon are also re-locating and needing to sell their homes. The Lord knows what we all need - in every area of life.

The Rest of the Story....

There is a reason for my silence during the past few months. So much has been happening in our lives, but it was only for private consumption… until now. Before sharing the unabridged version, I will cut to the chase, and blurt out, “The Trachts are moving west!”

I have accepted a faculty position at Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, Idaho as the Director of Academic Advising & Testing. There… I said it; it is officially public knowledge. If you want to know more read on:

Three years ago I began a master’s degree program for several reasons. First, I loved my job; I had finally found an excellent career fit in the academic side of higher education. My current job description reads, “Bachelor’s degree required. Master’s degree preferred.” As I read similar job descriptions from like institutions, and various other interesting job descriptions, I determined that a master’s degree would make my work experience and my education “match.” Second, I had always intended to earn a master’s degree, but I wanted to wait until I really appreciated education, and until I had a strong direction in which to head (i.e., a degree that would lead to an actual job). Lastly, I wanted to give Steve what he gave me – the freedom and flexibility to pursue new opportunities. His work allowed me to fulfill my dream of staying home with our babies; and, his work allowed me to work part-time while also attending graduate school. Steve has interests that he’s been unable to pursue because of his income. A master’s degree would enable me to earn more income. As of June 2009, I earned a master’s degree in general psychology with an emphasis in educational psychology.

I had hoped to either advance within MVNU, or find a new opportunity nearby initially. In fact, last summer I had applied for a position at an institution 30 miles away from Mount Vernon. At that time, I simply could not imagine living in the community without working for MVNU. I loved our life in Mount Vernon, and I was afraid of shaking up our happiness. The position did not materialize, and I felt great relief. Over the course of this school year, however, a sense of disequilibrium developed within me. When such feelings emerged, it was difficult to avoid the blame game (i.e., look for reasons outside of oneself for the source of frustration). I could list all the reasons why I began to search for change, but the reasons are all meaningless now. The bottom line is this: Steve and I believe that God was preparing us for change. Had we been perfectly happy with our surroundings, we would have never considered other options. God clearly has been working in our lives – simultaneously – to bring about our current move.

Fast forward to January 2010. My dear Grandpa Keller passed away in mid-January. Throughout the holidays, we knew the end was nearing, and I desperately missed my family! Such a longing to be near them took me by surprise, as I have lived many miles from “home” for nearly 20 years. When Grandpa passed, and I spent the next week with my grandma, parents, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephew; and, the longing to be in closer proximity to these relationships grew ten fold. Coupled with the disequilibrium I faced in Mount Vernon, I felt driven to consider new possibilities. In fact, during the weekend following Grandpa’s services, I participated in a special Beth Moore event in Houston, and I strongly sensed a word from God: Change is coming. Be patient and be at peace because I am at work. To symbolize my acceptance of this word, I began using a planner that Beth’s ministry gifted the event participants with that weekend.

Since the spring of 2009, I have been closely monitoring job opportunities at select universities in specific areas of the country – mostly near my extended family, but also in Ohio. There were regularly interesting job openings, but rarely great fits for my specific interests in higher education. I knew that I needed to be ready when the “right” job opening was announced. On the Monday following my return from the memorial services for Grandpa, I noticed the NNU employment opportunity. It seemed like a perfect fit, a great opportunity for advancement, and a “long shot” since I lived in Ohio. With Steve’s blessing, I completed the application packet, contacted some references that lived in Nampa, and began praying for God’s wisdom and His best for our family. Within a few weeks, the ball started rolling.

Before I continue with this part of the story, I must talk about the weekend prior to my interviews in Nampa. Way back in November, I sensed God leading me to initiate a Girls’ Weekend with some of my cousins and aunts in Seattle. We planned it around the Beth Moore simulcast that took place last Saturday. Ten of us met in Auburn and Seattle to eat, talk, and worship together. It was an amazing time to be together, to become reacquainted as a family, and to grow in Christ. The whole experience was clearly a God-thing, and we were all along for the ride. God is such a great tour guide for life! Once again, the Lord spoke to me about being His instrument among this very special group of my favorite people in the world! I can not believe that I allowed the craziness of life come between these relationships for so long! So, the timing of my Grandpa’s passing, this renewal of extended familial ties, and our move west is absolutely amazing!

Steve and I were in Nampa, Idaho for nearly a week of interviewing, exploring, and decision making. Moving on is a strange place to be again. We did it nearly 8 years ago from Kansas to Ohio, and here we are again. We are definitely excited, but also a bit anxious. This morning my Bible study spoke to me. In the book of Ruth, Naomi tells Ruth that it is time to move on from their season of mourning, and begin a new thing. Within the disequilibrium that I referenced earlier, I felt emotions strong enough to resemble mourning. Now, it is clear that we need to move on. Kelly Minter writes, “One of the most remarkable and mysterious parts of life is how our frail and human plans somehow fit into God’s master plan” (2009, p. 96). It takes a firm resolve to follow God’s master plan even when we are so uncomfortable with our present state of affairs. Minter writes, “When we are wrapped in garments of mourning, we’re unavailable for whatever else God has for us” (p. 99). God is leading us toward a new thing, and it is impossible for us to deny it. I can not even imagine denying it!

When we moved to Ohio eight years ago, I prayed this prayer, “Lord, either open the doors so wide that we can not help but walk through them, or close them so tight that we would not dream of attempting.” I found myself praying the same prayer during this season of transition, and God is clearly speaking – even though I feel anxious about the unknowns. My theme verse for this season is:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV).

Now that I can freely share how God is working, I hope to be more active on this blog again. The Bible study I referred to by Kelly Minter has been a tremendous source of inspiration and peace during this time.

An Every Day Kind of Obediance

Trust in the Lord with all you heart,

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

and He will direct your path. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

I have fears of the unknown, fears of embarrassment, and fears of failure.

I like safety, comfort, and security.

I am thinking about 3 scenarios, and none of them are perfect. Within my understanding, all 3 make me feel anxious for various reasons. But, my understanding is extremely limited....

Lord,
help me to trust You,
lean on You,
acknowledge You, and
wait on Your direction
with peace and confidence.
Amen.

Be Prayerful

"Pray continually...." 

I Thessalonians 5:17 (NIV)

Lysa TerKeurst (2010) spoke of praying continually, but how does one pray continually? Praying continually hinges on realizing my utter dependence on God - continually. When I recognize my need for God, and when I realize that God desires to meet that need, then my weaknesses serve as a trigger to pray. My weaknesses are numerous, therefore I am in a perfect position to prayer continually (personal communication, TerKeurst, 2010).

For example, I have an addiction to food. To combat this addiction, I am choosing to participate in a restrictive diet for 40 days. Each time my stomach growls; each time my mouth waters; each time I long for food that I am choosing not eat at this time, I am seeking God to strengthen my resolve. It is continual - believe me!

Lysa TerKeurst (2010) reminds me that God longs to be my portion each day. By addressing my food addiction, I am placing myself in a position of weakness in order to experience God's power in my every day life.

What is your area of greatest need?

Will you allow your weaknesses 

to be a trigger to pray continually?

An Unusual Connection: Vampires, Lysa TerKeurst, & Beth Moore

What do Vampires, Lysa TerKeurst, & Beth Moore have in common?

When I am in connection with how God is working around me, Truth strikes me from multiple sources. Several months ago, I wrote a series of blogs relating to "The Twilight Series." I am currently reading Beth Moore's newest book "So Long Insecurity;" and, this week I am wrapping up an event featuring Lysa TerKeurst, as the speaker. I am home today, and happened upon Focus on the Family's broadcast entitled, "Navigating the Vampire Phenomenon, 1."

One of my biggest questions regarding "The Twilight Series" is the extreme obsession I see among very young girls, teenagers, young women, and middle-aged women. Females of all ages pour over these books (reading them many times over), see the movies with great anticipation and joy, and talk about the characters like they are real people. As I read Beth's discussion of insecurity, which includes many real-life examples of women who share, with intense honesty, their own struggles with insecurity, I can not help but wonder about how fiction like that of "The Twilight Series," negatively impacts woman's view of real life and love. As was stated in the broadcast above, I also can not help but question the source of need that this obsession represents.

Lysa TerKeurst points out (on her blog, in her spoken messages, and in her books) that humankind is created to crave. In Truth, God created us to crave Him! Yet, we attempt to meet that craving with everything but God, or a combination of things, along with a sprinkle of God. I attempt to fill my cravings for God with food, with work, with busy-ness, with service, with entertainment, with human comforts. I see a STRIKING CONNECTION between the insecurity of women, the innate pull of our cravings to be met with something or someone, and the obsession with vampires!

Don't label me "self-righteous." Though "The Twilight Series" has not sucked me in, I succumb to hundreds of other powerful (and inappropriate) cravings - not the least of which is food.  

Oh God, fill my life with You.

Move me to crave you first and foremost!

Allow every other pleasure to be enjoyed 

through the filter of Your perfect love for me,

 and Your complete fulfillment in me. 

Amen!

Messages From Heaven Via Humans

Open My Heart

Open my heart to Your Word; enlighten me.

Open my heart to Your Word,

And make me see

That all of life's meaning

Can be found in knowing You.

But how can I know You

If Your Word is not my rule?

Open my heart to Your Word;

Illumine me.

©2001, Geri Rosser

Dr. Geri Rosser led the students who provided praise and worship for the women's conference. They were FABULOUS! When I set this up with Geri, she did not want to intice the students with promises of an honorarium. She wanted them to participate with a heart of service. So, we surprised them each with a check at the end of the event. I love surprises!

Geri wrote the above chorus; it really touched my heart, and it is perfectly in line with the Truths God is teaching me. Thank you, Geri, for saying YES! to God.

How can I sum up Lysa TerKeurst's messages without "spilling the beans?" God is powerfully at work in her - using Lysa's body, mind, and soul to proclaim His message. My most profound comment is, "WOW!" :)

How many times a day/week/month/year do we find ourselves asking "Why, God?" Whether it is a personal hardship, the hardship of a close friend/family member, or a hardship of disasterous proportions, the "Why" questions of life are frequent. Lysa encouraged us to turn our thinking around.... Instead of asking "Why?" questions, talk to God:

"This is my reality, God.... What do You want me to do with it?"

I may be out-of-control of the circumstances, but (with God's help) I may be in-control of my reactions. Check in tomorrow for more!

Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

Event Planning: What is Success?

Success in planning the MVNU Women's Auxiliary Spring Conference is measured by how God works.I really wish that I had kept a journal of all the glitches that have occurred in the weeks prior to this event each year! At first, these glitches always catch me by surprise, and even make me mad; however, I firmly believe that these glitches represent evil's desire to shift the momentum away from honoring God.

There is not one bit of doubt in me that the devil was in our credit card machine this year!!! From start to finish, registration was a problem in 2010. Had I the time to be discouraged, I might have been by the low number of pre-event registrations. The credit card machine was one source of our apparent low numbers, but our actual numbers were right on target. Praise the Lord!! While we raise funds at the event, we do not intend to make much money from the cost of registration - our initial goal is "break even" on average.

When I arrived at the venue on Friday at noon, I was caught up in a seemingly (at the time) huge glitch.... Our tables and chairs had not been delivered! I'll be honest, I freaked a bit! Then, I took some deep, cleansing breathes and addressed the problem. Sure enough, the dilemma was solved with time to spare! Thank you, Jesus!

All of the stresses that occurred in the months/weeks/days/hours prior to this event were worthwhile when the music began! This year an MVNU student praise team led worship for the first time. They were wonderful, and the women loved having students on the platform. I believe it is great testimony of how valuable our students are - they give me hope for the future! Dr. Geri Rosser led the group; she also shared a prayer chorus that she wrote and arranged. I hope to share that with you soon!

Our featured speaker this year was Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. One of her books is titled, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God." I am thankful that Lysa said "Yes" to God. Her ministry is rich, authentic, and so down-to-earth. By the grace of God, her messages touched single women, married women, women with no children, moms, grandmas.... everyone, young and old. The response was amazing! I am excited to share some specifics from Lysa's talks, and their impact upon me personally... tomorrow.

P.S. I just realized that I never shared with the specifics of Beth Moore's message upon me in January. I will do that soon!

Spiritual Gifts in Action: Event Planning

I plan one, big event a year: the MVNU Women's Auxiliary Spring Conference. I believe I was 11 years old when I first planned something significant. It was a summer babysitting service with my best friend. We called it "Snoopy's Place." Cute, huh? We offered our services every Tuesday and Thursday throughout the summer. Our plans included a scheduled play time, sack lunches, snack time, and rest time. We made a significant amount of money! Nearly 30 years later, as a busy mom, I know why our services were so popular!

Throughout junior high and high school, I planned events for school and for church. It just came naturally to me, and I loved it! During my senior year in high school, I planned a formal, Christmas dance. It was an extremely memorable experience, and I learned a bunch! My planning joys continued throughout college with my biggest feat being the Homecoming Coronation during in my junior year.

My first job included event planning, as well. As the Administrative Assistant for the Director of YOUTH IN MISSION, I planned the summer training camp, and the fall recruiting tour. It was a blast!! Beyond that job, my event planning energies turned back to volunteer services through church. These volunteer experiences matured my passions for women's ministries. As a result, when the opportunity arose for me to volunteer as the conference coordinator for the MVNU Women's Auxiliary, I found the perfect marriage of my Spiritual gifts, interests and passions.

I love helping women grow in their personal relationship with Christ! Coordinating an event that is aimed at inspiration and spiritual transformation among women is quite fulfilling for me. Our 2010 event was my fourth consecutive conference. Over four years, we've had Liz Curtis Higgs, a group of 4 ladies with a long name that I can never remember, Shaunti Feldhahn, and Lysa TerKeurst. Each year holds a special place in my heart, but this year was particularly amazing!

Success in planning this event is measured by how God works. I can 't wait to tell you more... tomorrow!

"This is why I remind you to fan into flame the spiritual gifts
God gave you when I laid my hands upon you."

2 Timothy 1:6 (NLT)

Food for Thought

My pastor spoke of David and Goliath last Sunday. Because I have heard this story from childhood, I did not expect new Truths to keep me thinking into Tuesday. But then, I also forgot that the Bible is "living and active" (Hebrews 4:12). I love it when God's Word speaks to me in a new, fresh way!

Two points from the sermon strike me. 1) Goliath is symbolic of evil, and 2) Spiritual weapons are more powerful than worldly weapons, despite the culture's opinions. Then, as I studied the Book of Mark this week, I read the passage where Jesus said to Peter, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" Again, a very common verse of Scripture (Mark 8:33). These three ideas are rolling around in my brain.

Evil challenges Believers every day. Evil looks big, intimidating, and much stronger than Believers. Some call Christ-followers crazy. Pastor Glenn named this idea the "Goliath-effect." I like the word usage! To combat the Goliath-effect, we often look for weaponry created by the very culture that nurtures evil. In this way, we feel like David, who was bogged down by Saul's armor in preparation for battle against Goliath (think the Veggie Tales version of the story). David, however, knew better - based upon his personal relationship with The Living God. He dropped Saul's armor to fight Goliath with Spiritual weapons - faith, a few stones, and a sling - even though the people mocked him.

In Mark, when Christ began speaking to the disciples about His upcoming persecution and death, Peter tried to stop Him because, in Peter's mind, Christ came to stun the world with His strength. But, Spiritual weapons are of a different order, and God's plan for Christ in this world was very different than Peter's plan. In weakness, there is strength; in humility there is power; in death, there is life. Christ knew that Peter's words were absolutely based on worldly wisdom. Christ came to exemplify Spiritual wisdom.

The question asked in "Listening For God Through Mark," is this:

Like Peter, what might I be doing to "prevent Christ from fulfilling His mission on earth" (p. 46)?

Wow! Now that is some food for thought....

So, What Am I Doing?

I've been busy. That is an understatement, but so is everybody, right? When I think about my New Year's Challenges to Myself, I smile.... I have moved in a completely new direction. There is too much pressure to come with "New Year's Resolutions" by January 1st. I needed more time to work through God's leadership for 2010. So, what am I doing?

I adore my morning devotions in the car. Truly, I will forever look back on this season in life, and recall my spiritual growth from the driver's seat of my white Honda Odyssey in the parking lot of MVNU's Campus Center. God has met me there in BIG way for the past 18 months, or so. I have decided to NOT memorize two pieces of scripture a month in 2010 - that was sooo 2009. I plan to periodically review my 2009 verses, and occasionally add to my note card spiral of verses. I have also decided to NOT read through the Bible in a year. It simply goes against every natural grain I have within me.... When it comes to studying God's Word, I do not like strict structures and time lines. Yuck.

So, what am I doing?

1. Reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore, participating in family blog that focuses on the questions Beth provides each week, and attending Beth's simulcast on April 24 in Seattle.
2. Participating in Nall Avenue Nazarene's Lenten Bible Study using "Listening for God Through Mark,"  listening online to Pastor Ken Lightcap's corresponding sermons, and participating in Nall's Lenten Blog.
3. Following Lent, I will resume Kelly Minter's Bible study entitled "Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy." The little bit I completed prior to Lent wet my appetite. I think it is going to be a great study!
4. Finally, I am addressing a serious stronghold in my life: Food Addiction. Lysa TerKeurst inspired me to take this stronghold seriously, and that is all I am going to say, for now. 

 I plan on posting more this week about the above points....