Don't Shoot Yourself In the Foot

This week I am "blogging for books." When given the opportunity to review Shaunti Feldhahn's newest release, I jumped at the chance. She is one of my favorites! Shaunti's strength is in her use of analytical skills to interpret research and develop practical theory. As one who appreciates an academic perspective without  academic jargon, I pour over Feldhahn's work. The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace did not disappoint. I find myself pondering (and applying) Feldhahn's research results daily.

While reading The Male Factor, I had to remind myself of the book's purpose. I do not have to agree the unwritten rules and secret beliefs of men at work, but I desire to be aware of these rules and secrets in order to build my interpersonal skills accordingly. Feldhahn writes:

 "Just because certain expectations exist in the workplace doesn't mean we have to meet them, or allow them to pressure us into a course that is demonstrably not right for us" (p. 201).

Feldhahn's purpose is to inform, and to offer some basic advice in regards to male - female interactions in the workplace. I find that the foundation of her work - high quality research with a nationally representative  sample of over 1500 men - lends invaluable credibility to the message. She is not reporting her opinion; Feldhahn is reporting the results of her research that spans 8 years of collection and analysis. The resulting message is powerful!

I am not a corporate ladder climber, so why do I care about Feldhahn's message in The Male Factor? I care because experiences in the workplace frustrate me.... At times, these experiences even flabbergast me! As I read this book, new levels of awareness hit me over and over again. The bottomline is: Men and women think, act, expect, respond, relate, work differently. So, whether I am in the home interacting with my husband and sons, at a volunteer meeting in the elementary school, leading a small group for church, or working for pay, the more understanding I have towards the differences between men and women, the more effective (and efficient) I will become in these roles - including my role in the workplace.

What surprised me the most in reading The Male Factor? Men's beliefs about incorporating one's personal world with one's work world were eye-opening. Feldhahn calls them "the laws of gravity" because these beliefs "govern the working world" for men. At this point, I must insert that Feldhahn frequently recognizes that not ALL men hold these beliefs, but the research speaks for itself in identifying the belief system of MOST men in the American workplace. Back to the "laws of gravity" (p. 62-78):

• One Can Never Take Things Personally
• You Essentially Become Your Position
• One Doesn't Make Business Decisions Based on Personal Factors
• Get Business Done Despite Personal Factors
• Emotions in the Workplace Have to Be Related to Business
• Conflicts Are Task-Specific and Should Never Carry Over and Become Grudges

In a nutshell, for men, the catch-phrase is "It's just business," according to Feldhahn, and women who are not aware of these laws often unknowingly "shoot themselves in the foot."

Will everyone agree with Feldhahn's research results and subsequent theories? Not a chance. Have I been positively changed in reading this book? Absolutely! I highly value interpersonal growth and maturity. The Male Factor is guiding me towards new shoots of growth. I highly recommend the book!

To purchase this book, go here or here.
To read more, visit the book's website here.

This book was provided for review by Waterbrook Multnomah.