12 Years Ago....

On this very night, 12 years ago, Steve & I made our way to the hospital with our bags packed, and our minds full of anticipation. What would it be like to be parents? Would we have a son or a daughter? How badly is this going to hurt (that was my main question)?

Ours was a scheduled induction, so we patiently waited for a room and a bed (I felt a little like Mary, actually). Our dear friends, Mark & Sherry Evilsizor, met us with a movie (I can't remember the title, as I was a bit distracted). Not much sleep was to be had that night - 12 years ago. Steve stayed awake for hours in the lobby watching an Ohio State basketball game, while I tried my hardest to rest before the big show early the next morning. I finally succumbed to taking some sleep meds, and I drifted off for a few hours.

First thing in the morning, on December 29, 1997, I was awakened by a nurse to prepare for the event of a lifetime. Despite the waiting and the pain, that day was, and still is, the most memorable day of my life: the day I became a mommy. I am kind of a wimp, but I did it!! And, I will never forget the incredulous feeling of holding my baby for the very first time.

Several hours later, as Steve and I settled into our hospital room with Tanner, he began to cry. We looked at each other and simultaneously asked, "What do we do now?" Ha - That may have been the first occasion to ask such a question as parents, but it certainly was not the last! We've looked at each other and asked that question over and over again... even today!

12 years later, there are new questions every day. Parenting is tough! We've made many mistakes along the way. If we do anything right, then it is by the grace of God.

Before we had children, I remember listening to a song by Anointed titled, "Not The I But The You In Me." The song helps me focus on the True Center. Here are the lyrics:

You have walked into my life
You have painted all my dreams
‘Til the color of your love is the color of me
You can look into my heart
And you can read my mind
You can read about yourself in between the lines

Chorus:
Every good thing I have done
Everything that I’ve become
Everything that’s turned out right
Is because You’re in my life
And if I ever teach a child the way
Ever learn myself to change
Ever become who I want to be
It’s not the I but the You in me.

You have looked into my eyes
You have seen what I am
But still, You’re by my side
Telling me I can
And there are times I’ve caused you pain
And times I’ve made mistakes
Somehow you used them all to make the I you made

And if I ever wondered for a hundred, thousand years
I would never understand
How you’re in me
And I’m in you
And you could say
You are the reason why I am

If you want to take a listen, try this:

It's Not The I But The You In Me

or you can Goggle it!

Happy 12th Birthday, Tanner!!!
We love you more every day!