There are many aspects of my job that I enjoy, but the most fulfilling piece is when I have the opportunity to encourage a student. Some students are doing well, and just need a pat on the back to keep their focus on the goal. Some students are failing, and they need encouragement in understanding that academic probation or failure does not define them. Some student pass their courses, but it takes every ounce of fortitude to complete the tasks. These students face obstacles beyond my understanding, and I find myself wondering, "Why, God?" Encouragement is fulfilling to give, and it is vital to receive!

As I am reading Adam Hamilton's The Journey (2011), I am reminded of how much we all need encouragement! The angel Gabriel offered Mary encouragement. In a dream, God offered Joseph encouragement. Elizabeth heaped encouragement upon Mary. In the midst of trying circumstances at work this semester, several key folks offered me encouragement, and it made a tremendous difference in my journey. I realized that I work in an environment where appreciation and encouragement are common. And, you know what? It makes me want to appreciate and encourage others more!

Look around you, and prepare to encourage those who cross your path. Encouragement is a free gift (and you don't need a coupon, or a frequent shopper card!). Enjoy blessing others!

One of my favorite pre-school "projects" brought home by Ty.

Emmanuel - God with us.

I have no earthly idea how people without faith in God deal with life's difficulties. "God has not promised us a life without suffering or a world without pain; he has promised to walk with us through the suffering and the pain (The Journey, Hamilton, 2011).

Am I alone in this, or do most people have an aversion to pain? There is someone close to me who is suffering, and I want to fix it so badly. I even blame myself for the pain he is feeling. As recent as Sunday night, my mind would not rest for re-living decisions, and wondering if things would be different if only....

I am responsible for nurturing this person, and I am so imperfect. Have I caused the pain? Can I fix it?

As I recall my own adolescence, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that pain led to significant growth in me. Oh, but it is so much harder to watch another face such development from this perspective. I said to a friend today, "Do they have any idea what they do to us?" No, no they don't, and they won't until the roles change. In the meantime, I know Emmanuel, and I know He is with us... always.

The cliche is very true, "They grow up so fast!"

Righteous, Baby!

The word "righteousness" is not popular word. Some people have done great things for righteousness sake, but others have acted out really horrible things for righteousness sake. Hamilton (The Journey, 2011) describes Joseph as a righteous man, but not in the way I might immediately think....

When Joseph first heard of Mary's condition, he intended to quietly leave her - this was considered righteous by a literal reading of the law. After Joseph heard a word from God regarding Mary and the baby she carried, he disobeyed the law and married her. "Joseph's righteousness led him to ignore the clear teaching of the law. What does this tell us about the New Testament definition of righteousness" (Hamilton, 2011)?

Open-mindedness to these ideas inspire me to avoid quick, judgmental attitudes towards those who think differently from me - in any direction. How might God be working? Might He be working in ways that are not immediately evident to me? Might He work in ways that I do not understand? Might He work in ways that I disagree with? Based on the Biblical account of Christ's birth, it is likely!

Another gift from Christmas '97 that I hold dear to my heart!

Doubt at Christmas

Doubt is not a common theme at Christmas. I like the way Adam Hamilton (The Journey, 2011) compares Joseph with "Doubting Thomas" upon hearing Mary's news:

Joseph was the first person in the Gospel who doubted; he might be considered (with "Doubting Thomas") the patron saint of doubters.

Interesting. Hamilton (The Journey, 2011) also remarks that "doubt is not the enemy of faith; it is often the doorway to a deeper faith." Even more interesting.

For better or for worse, I am not a doubter. It is fairly easy for me to believe in Spiritual things that I can not see, or fully understand. Yet, I yearn for a deeper faith. Hamilton (The Journey, 2011) suggests that we may overcome doubt by "remain(ing) open to possibilities." I think the same is true for people who, like me, find faith in God rather easy. The "doorway to a deeper faith" for me is remaining open-minded to the possibilities. God is not finished with humanity. He continues to influence humanity, and teach us His truth. It is not that His truth is changing, BUT it could be that as He continually reveals His truth, WE are changing.

I have added this ornament to a Christmas tree for as long as I can remember. Raggedy Ann has nothing to do with doubt - she is just a Christmas memory.... :-)

More Christmas Pondering

We've made Christmas beautiful and busy. Not all bad, but not all good. The beautiful part is nice - warm memories, emotion-filled music, pretty decor, thoughtful gifts for/from special people. Like the history of many nice things, humanity steals the joy and adds excess until we are warped. This phenom is not just about Christmas. It is about nearly everything, including our ideas of what is right and good. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with how screwed up we all are in our thinking and acting - each of us in our unique way, of course.

As an example, Adam Hamilton writes (The Journey: A Season of Reflections, 2011):

When Matthew tells Jesus' genealogy he lists two prostitutes and an adulteress, women who were outsiders....

If tradition is correct, Mary's family lived in the cheapest form of affordable housing at that time: a cave. Mary's village was considered of 'no account.' But it was precisely here that God...

Even by today's standards, these examples not pretty, perfect, or glamorous. Why do we equate "the good life" with beauty, perfection, and comfort?

I love this nativity - it is rough and imperfect!

Why do we work so hard to be "happy," or to ensure our kids are happy? to be "successful," or to make our kids successful? If we believe anything about God, we believe he acts unexpectedly:

God routinely chooses the humble and the least expected in and through whom he might do his greatest work (Hamilton, 2011).

Shouldn't we be searching for God in the unexpected? Shouldn't we be acting in unexpected ways? Shouldn't we be considering ideas that are unconventional - whatever our particular convention of thought might be right now? Might not God use us in unexpected ways, if we look for Him in our discomfort, our imperfections, our ugliness - again whatever defines our discomfort, imperfections, and ugliness? I don't know about you, but my discomforts, imperfections, and ugliness vary, but they never completely leave me. My Christmas ponderings are leading me to embrace them, rather than avoid them.

Please God, help me to to embrace
Your ideas  with open-mindedness; 

release me from the ideas of this world
that paralyze me.

Christmas Memories and Ponderings

There is a plethora (I learned that word in high school playing Balderdash) of Christmas devotional guides available these days. At least 2 good ones were available for free via Amazon for Kindle this year. I chose Adam Hamilton's The Journey: A Season of Reflections. Hamilton is the pastor of a United Methodist church in Kansas City. His teaching is thought-provoking, and I need to be thought-provoked to feel alive, even it is uncomfortable at times. The Journey is not disappointing. I hope to share a few of my thoughts in the coming days. This first Christmas post (There may actually be more than one....) is not directly related, but it is a place my heart goes every Christmas.

Advent is a time of preparing; an expectant time of year. My favorite Christmas of all time was the Christmas I was expectant with our first baby. It was rich with wonder and dreams; with preparing and with expectancies of all things unknown in the gift of parenthood. We were living in Kansas City - far from family, but our life was relationship rich. Tanner's actual due date was December 25 (my hope was for a late arrival). Steve's job included time off for Christmas. As he wrapped up his last day, we settled in to wait out our last few days of being married without children. Several of our closest friends were expectant with us awaiting their firstborns in December 1997.

Mark and Sherry Evilsizors's home was our home away from home. They chose to stay in KC for the holiday to settle in with us, and wait out the arrival of Tracht Baby #1. We spent many hours (and I mean MANY HOURS) playing Nerts over the holidays. Each night as we would leave their home, I'd struggle to get my swollen feet back into my shoes - eventually Mark just loaned me his slippers. We sat in narrow wooden dining room chairs to play Nerts. Moving the game around the living room recliner to suit my comfort was offered, but I refused with visions of Gilbert Grape. As I decorate for Christmas each year, I relive the Christmas of 1997 - especially when I hang this ornament, a gift from Sherry:

The Christmas of 1997 was indeed special! It was the year we became The Tracht Family. Family is Christmas. For me, I know Christ more intimately because of family. The goods, the bads, the beautiful, and the ugly are represented in family - in my family of origin, in my immediate family of 4, in my family of God....

The Battle to Engage

I believe the Lord has brought together a unique group of moms to participate in a small group. I am so very thankful for this gift of community. This morning I thought about preparing an email for this group, but tonight I decided to write my thoughts in this forum.

As I have pondered the lessons in our Bible study on raising boys, I have come to realize how much of my parenting is based on fear right now. It is has not always been this way, and I don't really know how I ended up in this spot. But, here I am feeling fearful and anxious. Mothering a 13 year old and an 11 year old are certainly part of the equation, but the fear that I feel has greater depth. I am lacking trust in God.

This isn't the first time that I have lacked trust in my adult life. I can recall a time when my boys were toddlers that I struggled to trust. It was during that time that the Lord gave me this scripture, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15b (NIV). God also guided me to relinquish my control in the battle, but I did still have a role to play. He told me to simply "Engage." Just engage, and let Him be the commander.

Well, I am back in that spot; that spot where I want so desperately to control! God has clearly spoken, and that control is not mine to own. He is the Commander, and he will control. I simply need to engage and trust. Engage with my growing boys, and trust that God will provide, protect, and lead us.

To my community of moms, "March on, my soul(s); be strong" (Judges 5:21b), and engage!