The Battle to Engage

I believe the Lord has brought together a unique group of moms to participate in a small group. I am so very thankful for this gift of community. This morning I thought about preparing an email for this group, but tonight I decided to write my thoughts in this forum.

As I have pondered the lessons in our Bible study on raising boys, I have come to realize how much of my parenting is based on fear right now. It is has not always been this way, and I don't really know how I ended up in this spot. But, here I am feeling fearful and anxious. Mothering a 13 year old and an 11 year old are certainly part of the equation, but the fear that I feel has greater depth. I am lacking trust in God.

This isn't the first time that I have lacked trust in my adult life. I can recall a time when my boys were toddlers that I struggled to trust. It was during that time that the Lord gave me this scripture, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15b (NIV). God also guided me to relinquish my control in the battle, but I did still have a role to play. He told me to simply "Engage." Just engage, and let Him be the commander.

Well, I am back in that spot; that spot where I want so desperately to control! God has clearly spoken, and that control is not mine to own. He is the Commander, and he will control. I simply need to engage and trust. Engage with my growing boys, and trust that God will provide, protect, and lead us.

To my community of moms, "March on, my soul(s); be strong" (Judges 5:21b), and engage!