12 Years Ago....

On this very night, 12 years ago, Steve & I made our way to the hospital with our bags packed, and our minds full of anticipation. What would it be like to be parents? Would we have a son or a daughter? How badly is this going to hurt (that was my main question)?

Ours was a scheduled induction, so we patiently waited for a room and a bed (I felt a little like Mary, actually). Our dear friends, Mark & Sherry Evilsizor, met us with a movie (I can't remember the title, as I was a bit distracted). Not much sleep was to be had that night - 12 years ago. Steve stayed awake for hours in the lobby watching an Ohio State basketball game, while I tried my hardest to rest before the big show early the next morning. I finally succumbed to taking some sleep meds, and I drifted off for a few hours.

First thing in the morning, on December 29, 1997, I was awakened by a nurse to prepare for the event of a lifetime. Despite the waiting and the pain, that day was, and still is, the most memorable day of my life: the day I became a mommy. I am kind of a wimp, but I did it!! And, I will never forget the incredulous feeling of holding my baby for the very first time.

Several hours later, as Steve and I settled into our hospital room with Tanner, he began to cry. We looked at each other and simultaneously asked, "What do we do now?" Ha - That may have been the first occasion to ask such a question as parents, but it certainly was not the last! We've looked at each other and asked that question over and over again... even today!

12 years later, there are new questions every day. Parenting is tough! We've made many mistakes along the way. If we do anything right, then it is by the grace of God.

Before we had children, I remember listening to a song by Anointed titled, "Not The I But The You In Me." The song helps me focus on the True Center. Here are the lyrics:

You have walked into my life
You have painted all my dreams
‘Til the color of your love is the color of me
You can look into my heart
And you can read my mind
You can read about yourself in between the lines

Chorus:
Every good thing I have done
Everything that I’ve become
Everything that’s turned out right
Is because You’re in my life
And if I ever teach a child the way
Ever learn myself to change
Ever become who I want to be
It’s not the I but the You in me.

You have looked into my eyes
You have seen what I am
But still, You’re by my side
Telling me I can
And there are times I’ve caused you pain
And times I’ve made mistakes
Somehow you used them all to make the I you made

And if I ever wondered for a hundred, thousand years
I would never understand
How you’re in me
And I’m in you
And you could say
You are the reason why I am

If you want to take a listen, try this:

It's Not The I But The You In Me

or you can Goggle it!

Happy 12th Birthday, Tanner!!!
We love you more every day!

Christmas Letter 2009

It's official. I will not be writing a traditional Christmas letter on printed paper to be mailed via the USPS. I thought about it... for a few minutes... and decided that I did not have the capacity to make it happen. We're in a "no news is good news" phase of life....

Steve - is in the midst of his 7th year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Our move to MV was a monumental life change, and we are marveling at how quickly 7 years have past. Within the next 7 years, we will be nearing the empty-nest phase of life - OH MY! So, Steve is busy investing in the lives of our 2 boys. He is either coaching or monitoring their sports teams, managing the PTO monies for the elementary school, helping with all math homework, playing various ball games inside and out, and having some in-depth conversations about the meaning of life and having Christ as Lord of one's life. Steve was honored with East Elementary's "Volunteer of the Year" in May. He is a fabulous dad!!!

Heidi - is in her 5th year of work in Academic Support at MVNU. She has found her professional niche in life, and loves administering programs that directly impact students for the good in their studies. In February, Heidi began teaching at MVNU in addition to her administrative duties. In June, with much anticipation, she completed her Master of Science degree in General Psychology with a specialization in Educational Psychology. Heidi's nine month schedule allows her to enjoy the best of both worlds - in terms of a career and motherhood. She and the boys look forward to time off in order to play, and simply bask in a slower pace of life. Heidi continues to volunteer at East Elementary, and now at the MV Middle School, as well. She is cooking more regularly - much to dismay of the kids, who love to eat out as much as she does. Heidi also coordinates an annual women's event at MVNU. In March 2010, the Women's Auxiliary will host Lysa TerKuerst.


Tanner - will turn 12 this month! He is becoming quite a social young man as a Middle Schooler. While our expectations for his academics surpass his own, Tanner is doing well and will even occasionally admit that he likes school. The transition to Middle School came at a perfect time for Tanner, and we have all adjusted to the new environment (complete with school dances and an occasional party). Tanner has a fun sense of humor - that we must continually help him control. His teachers also appreciate his humor, but join with us in helping him define appropriate timing. From his mom's perspective, who clearly remembers a 5 year old boy who rarely cracked a smile throughout his entire Kindergarten year, a few disciplinary issues related to classroom disruptions are actually a relief! Tanner plays soccer and basketball, but is obsessed with football. Going against his mother's hopes and dreams, Tanner plans to play on a football team for the first time in 2010.


Tyler - is 9 years old, and in the 4th grade. We decided to pursue surgery in March 2009 for his toe-walking (he inherited a neurological disease from his mom causing him to exclusively toe-walk). The surgery went well, and after 6 weeks of double walking casts, he learned to walk again - even playing soccer this fall. School is a joy for Tyler because of gym class, lunch, and recess. We often hear the phrase, "Everyone loves Tyler!" He is outgoing, funny, and quite personable. Younger kids, in particular, are drawn to him! Tyler plays soccer and basketball, and has caught the NFL bug - the Arizona Cardinals are his team of choice (we don't know why?!?). In his class's upcoming Ohio Wax Museum presentation, Tyler will portray Thomas Edison. He tells us that the Ohio governor is coming to visit the presentation. We're not sure if he is confusing the Mount Vernon mayor for the state governor. Regardless, he's already memorized the biography that he will recite.

Mandy - is our 2 year old Miniature Schnauzer. She brings warmth and personality to our home. We recently bought Mandy her first sweater - it is gray with pink argyles. Steve says, "She looks ridiculous." The rest of us thinks she is simply precious!

From our house to yours, may Christ touch your heart this Christmas. May you be drawn into a closer relationship with Him in 2010. May you allow Him to personally reveal Himself to you in our turbulent, confusing culture. Christ desires to be found by you as you search for Him with all your heart. It is our prayer that you will engage in the search in order to find the fear and the knowledge of the Lord. His wisdom, provision, and purpose surpass everything that this world has to offer!

The Tracht Family

The End of an Era

Mount Vernon experienced an end of an era yesterday, and hardly anyone even knew. I need to go back seven years to describe my perspective....

We moved to Mount Vernon literally on the first day of school; Tanner's first day of Kindergarten. Steve and I accompanied him to his classroom. Steve had to direct me away from the building. Tanner looked terrified! I felt terrible. We were in a new town, we knew very few people - and no one at East Elementary. The teacher seemed nice enough, but I wondered what kind of counseling Tanner would require as an adult after this traumatic experience. We made it through the first day, a half day for Kindergarten, and I did what every mother would do who is plagued with guilt. I took Tanner to Walmart to buy a new toy.

Fast forward to November. As first, I did not know anyone well enough to keep Tyler in order for me to volunteer in the classroom, so dear Mrs. John allowed me to bring Tyler into the classroom with me. Mrs. John is the perfect Kindergarten teacher!!! She loves her kids each year like they are her own kids. She calms parents, like me, who might be more challenging than the kids. On the last day of school before Christmas Break, Mrs. John told me to be sure and come for the All-School Carol Sing. Believe me, I learned to follow instructions in Kindergarten, so I obeyed Mrs. John. What a blessing!!

East Elementary is a 100 year old building. The building smells like my own elementary school - Jefferson-Lincoln (some things never change). I sat in the dimly lit gym as all the children from K-5 quietly filed in to take their seats on the floor. With few words, the singing began, and I felt my heart leap with joy and peace. The music was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! I was amazed as they sang about Frosty and Rudolph right along with Mary, the angels, and Jesus. I leaned toward the person next to me, and said, "I didn't think public schools were allowed do this!" She smiled, shrugged her shoulders, and replied, "Welcome to Mount Vernon!" I look up and stared out the high, paned gym windows just in time to see huge, perfect snowflakes fall from the sky! I felt like I was in a Lifetime original movie!

From that day to yesterday, I have made it a priority, and a Christmas tradition, to attend the All-School Carol Sing at East Elementary. Each year, as the kids sing of Christ's birth, I pray for the protection of their bodies, minds, and souls. Yesterday, however, the music was quite different. The kids voices were still beautiful. Their excitement for Christmas was still contagious and extremely heart-warming, but Christ was uninvited.

For the last 2 years, the Mount Vernon City School District has been battling a lawsuit introduced by a Christian school teacher who is fighting for his "rights." As a result, Mount Vernon educators are fearful of the backlash. I think yesterday's change was a preventative adjustment to avoid "bad press." Thanks, Mr. Christian Schoolteacher! As you fight for your "rights," you are also ushering in a new era from kindergarten through high school in the Mount Vernon City Schools. The facts in your case are so confusing that I doubt anyone knows what really has occurred in your classroom, and between you and the administration. One thing I know, and predicted when this whole ordeal came to light, is that East Elementary's All School Carol Sing has been forever changed.

I am sad.

"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God"
I Corinthians 3:19 (NIV)

Have We Gone Mad?

I am beginning to find a bit of humor in the clash of wording used in December. "Merry Christmas" is taboo in some circles, but "Happy Holidays" is acceptable. Some stores have holiday trees and holiday cards. Schools hold winter programs, concerts, and dances; and schools close for winter break. Whatever.... These activities in December will always be related to Christmas - nobody is fooled! Just like the folks who hold "Harvest Parties" in October, nobody questions the season that is celebrated! Christmas is Christmas - its meaning moves far beyond semantics. I say: Let's celebrate and celebrate BIG!!! Don't you think Christ is bigger than this clash???

I know it represents a broad cultural clash in the United States of American. But really, what makes a bigger impact on people (the foundation of our culture, and the only entity of eternal value), the use of words or actions? For example, when The Touhy's connected with the Michael Oher, what made the biggest difference - their words or their actions? By the way, The Blind Side may go down as one of my favorite movies of all time. I know truth and fiction are mixed in these types of movies, but....

Another example takes me back to my own K-12 public education. Students know who really cares and who does not. Teachers do not have to carry Bibles or proselytize to be Christ-followers in public schools. Their everyday actions in relationship with students, parents, and colleagues silently speak volumes - either honoring or dishonoring the name of Christ. Saint Francis of Assissi said is best, "Preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words."

When it comes to Christmas, let's focus on our actions. And, let's celebrate big by praying, and giving, and enjoying people. When Linus recites the Biblical Christmas, when Christmas carols are freely played, and when people joyfully carry out their Christmas traditions, let us pray, and give, and actively enjoy in the name of Christ. There truly is no other merrier time of year!

And, when popular culture ushers in stupidity this season, let us consider how Jesus would respond.

Oh, I just can't resist:

Words, Words, Words....

Sometimes I have words and ideas in my brain that I am driven to get on paper, or the computer screen. As a result, blogging has become an outlet for me. There are some weeks, however, when my brain is so jumbled with details that I can hardly make it through the 7 days without crashing like a hard drive. This week represents the later....


At the same time, this week I have heard some incredible words from other venues! In my quest for Truth, I listened to a broadcast from Focus on the Family entitled "Strengthening Your Teen's Worldview." The message addresses the core of my search in terms of hope for the future - particularly my sons' futures.... I grew up with some really smart friends - actually gifted in the formal sense of the word. During those years, I observed that intellectually gifted teens often struggle with issues of faith. Fast forward 20+ years, and I now have a gifted child to teach and model my faith. Wow - it is a daunting mission! Additionally, I am currently immersed in an academic environment where I observe Truth questioned and dismissed. My faith is strengthened by these challenges, and I am deeply thankful for a personal relationship with Christ.


It is apropos these days to look down upon people with strong convictions. Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family frequently feels this kind of heat - from the full spectrum of people. Let me be quick to say that I do not embrace everything I hear on FOTF broadcasts, but more often than not, I agree. The aforementioned broadcast hits me in the center of my faith journey at this point, and speaks words that I have not clearly articulated. So, if my thoughts have resonated with yours during 2009, then take a listen.


Another broadcast touching the core of my search in recent days is Dr. Chuck Swindoll's current series entitled "Living Right in a Wrong World." Today's message, in particular, struck a chord with me on this journey. The title is "The Disturbing Realities of Our Times." These links will change with the date you search, so if you have trouble finding the exact message, use the website's library. Have I mentioned how useful mp3 players are these days?


Friends, may your journey be enriched as you pursue the knowledge of Christ - especially during Advent!

Another Poem - my poetry is depressing.

Belonging, Connection, Affirmation
is what I long for, but
Loneliness, Misunderstanding, Rejection
is really the plight of a foreigner.
My homeland is in heaven.

See Philippians 3:20a

Insecurity & A Goal for 2010???

December 1st is a mere six hours away! Parts of 2009 have sped by, and parts have been S-L-O-W (though with 2 kids, time generally flies). I can not believe that I am on track to complete my "Goal for 2009" - memorizing 24 pieces of scripture with my siestas on The LPM Blog. I am not completely up-to-date, but I know it would only take a few days of concentrated effort. Should I continue working on this goal into 2010??? Still thinking about it.... I want to, but I am not certain, yet.

Beth Moore has introduced a new group activity on her blog. Her newest book, "So Long Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us," hits the market in early February. Because of the enormous impact of insecurity upon women, this writing project really struck a different kind of chord with Beth. The Ministry is sponsoring a book club of sorts through her blog - you can read about it here.

I read about the book blog right before Thanksgiving, and I was really, really missing my family last week.... So, I believe the Lord led me to invite family members to join me in reading Beth's newest book beginning in February. The group read will conclude around April 24th - the weekend of Beth's next simulcast covering the book's topic. My Aunt Kathi and I have an agreement - she will read the book, IF I agree to come to the Seattle area for the simulcast and a family girls' weekend. It is a done deal, friends! And, I could not be more excited. This is an example of how technology is used for the glory of God!

Chances are great that I will blog about my personal experiences (not those of my family members) with the book as I read it.... If you want to be on the same page, plan on obtaining the book in February. I sense something quite significant will come from sharing in this experience with other women.

Oh December, I thought you'd never come....
Now that you're here,
I am sooo looking forward to February and April!
Thank you, Lord, for the joy of anticipation!