I'm Always Amazed!

It happened again! I've experienced special provisions - seemingly small to most, but quite significant to me. Three years ago, I started a study of Daniel by Beth Moore. I loved it! I still frequently quote passages from those lessons - Babylon is oh so similar to contemporary America. Note that I started the study three years ago, but I never finished the study. About two and a half years ago, I started graduate school - enough said. Grad school took all of my studying skills, so Daniel had to wait!

Today was the day that I picked Daniel back up. Before I continue, let me remind you how eventful the last two months have been for me. School started for the kids, including a new phenomenon called MIDDLE SCHOOL. I started back to work after a summer hiatus (gotta love education), and I started teaching 4 sections of university courses (nearly 70 students). Can you say "first year teacher?" I totally understand that terminology now! Both boys are playing soccer with different practices and games. I am no longer a student, so I have taken up healthy cooking for the family again (my poor guys lived on easy food for 2 years). In the midst of all this, I was battling a war within me for control and significance that.... Let's just say, the Lord was not leading this battle!

In a previous post, I recalled how I hit the breaking point last week. I spewed my frustrations, I cried, I reached the bottom of this particular pit, and I pleaded with the Lord to help me. He answered my plea, and he continues to personally respond to me. Today, I picked up Daniel after a 3 YEAR DELAY, and the messages on the pages were like manna from heaven - made just for today! Based on John 14:12-13, Beth Moore (2006) writes,

"Your life and mine will be well lived and greatly influential if we simply ask God to empower us to do that for which we were created" (p. 159).

You see part of my battle these past months originated from a great disappointment that I experienced. Disappointment led to frustration, frustration led to anger, and anger led to bitterness. I was so unhappy! Satan was using this disappointment to completely blind me from all of the good and Godly things that were happening around me, and even TO ME! As I turned the battle raging within me over to God, He opened my eyes to His work and His purpose for me.

Lord, I know this is a lesson that
I will have to learn over and over again,
but thank you for meeting me
in all of my messiness, and
giving me hope with a purpose.
You always amaze me!

A Source & A Need

There are a few key people, lessons, and activities in my life that have dramatically changed my heart and/or my behavior. One huge area of growth is through Bible study. You know I adore the leadership of Beth Moore. I have also learned so much from several pastors in my life. Third, my mom has been a significant model for my learning from birth to now.

Another source is the inductive, pure Bible study method taught by Anne Graham Lotz. Just today I noticed that her ministry has posted a video of Anne teaching this method. I would highly encourage anyone interested in Bible study to learn from Anne by watching this 30 minute video and following the instructions on the viewing guide.

In addition, pray for me today and tomorrow. I am presenting this topic in one of my classes on Tuesday, October 13th @ 1:50pm. At MVNU, we integrate faith and learning. Spiritual development is vital for academic growth and critical thinking. Will you ask the Lord to minister in my class tomorrow?

Who Knows: A Few Perfectly Timed Reminders

God blessed me this weekend with reminders of His care for me. On Friday night, all four of us went to the movie theater. While there, I had the spontaneous opportunity to meet one of Tanner's teachers. I feel disconnected with his new middle school environment, so it warmed my heart to have a personal conversation with Tanner's reading teacher - a class he is struggling with right now. The evening also allowed me to see a glimpse of Tanner in his new environment - among his new middle school friends. He was so comfortable and clearly well liked. Again, my heart warmed. I felt it was God showing me the positive aspects of living in our small, rural community.

Between Friday and Sunday, I attended 5 soccer games (2 for Tanner, 1 for Tyler, and 2 for MVNU). Through soccer, I am meeting great people in the community whom I feel connection with apart from work and church. Without knowing it, these people have blessed me immensely, and I truly enjoy their friendships. God also reminded me of the opportunities I have to support these friends through the conversations we share along the sidelines. I know I am exactly where God wants me to be for this season.

On Saturday night we spent a relaxing evening with friends. Thank you, Jesus, for friendship. Friendship is the joy of life. We ate dinner and cheesecake together, we laughed, we talked, we played Euchre, and the girls won!!! Through friendship, the Lord provides me with the TLC I need to thrive.

The past two months have been frustrating and tiresome, but this weekend the Lord allowed me to see a view of His purpose. In Esther 4:14, Mordecai said to Esther:

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this."

I am in no "royal position." In fact, by the world's standards I am an official peon. By God standards, however, I am significant. Who knows the purpose of these challenging days? God knows! And with that Truth, I am at peace.

Real Life

I realize that I come across "having it all together." It is rarely my intention to give this impression; instead, I am just trying to keep things from becoming a messy, embarrassing explosion. Those who know me well, also know that eventually I let it all out - usually complete with tears. Well, I reached my official melting point this week! Yeah?!

From the day we landed in Ohio after our Oregon vacation, I have been keeping a fast, stressful pace - like most people. In the midst of the pace, I have been battling a raging bad attitude about some key areas in life. I hate bad attitudes - even when they are my own (perhaps especially when they are my own). Challenges, in any form, have the power to break me or build me. Oh, how I desire the later option! I pray that reaching my breaking point allows me to turn a corner in the coming days.

This summer, while completing Beth Moore's Bible study of Esther (2008), I read the following:

"There in the shelter of the Most High we find our SIGNIFICANCE and the only SATISFACTION of our INSATIABLE NEED TO BE NOTICED. There and there alone we are free to be neither depressed nor impressed with the capricious reactions of this carnal world" (p. 147, emphasis added).

Oh, how I needed to be reminded of these words during the past few weeks. At this point, I could start listing all of my gripes about the situations surrounding me, but I will refrain. I could explain away my human reactions to my many frustrations, but I choose to be silent. I could persuade you to "be on my side," but I'll stop. Instead, I am seeking to focus on the purpose of my existence: to glorify God and to build His people. When all else is pulled away, and when I can point my eyes, ears, mind, and soul to this Truth, God strengthens my weaknesses and renews my humanly hopeless mind. I can't survive without Him!

Real life is overwhelming apart from God's Truth.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,
your ears will hear a voice behind you saying,
"This is the way; walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21, NIV).

Meaningful Organization

It is October 2, 2009 - unbelievable! My 19th verse for the year is:

He said to the crowd, "When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, 'It is going to rain,' and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, 'It is going to be hot,' and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and sky. How is it that you don't know how to interpret this present time? Why don't you judge for yourselves what is right?" (Luke 12:54-57, NIV).

I know that I speak frequently about this experience of memorizing scripture. It is such an amazing journey - I can't help but share it with others. For the first few months, memorizing came easily, which was quite a surprise. For about five months, memorizing was difficult and I wondered if I would be able to complete the goal. Most recently, I began to mentally pick up speed again. My new problem became reciting ALL the verses for the year in one sitting.

At the same time, I am currently teaching study skills courses and workshops for first-time college freshman. One of the tools I present to strengthen ones memory is "meaningful organization." This equals ordering items in such a way as to make the items more meaningful based on students' background knowledge. One morning while studying my memory verses, I began linking them in a different order (rather than the chronological order in which I had chosen each set of verses). There appears to be an underlying theme and progression in the verses. After completing the linking process, I tried reciting all 18 sets of verses. Within just a few days, I was able to recite all 18 verses one after another! What an awesome blessing!

The verses that the Lord has led me to memorize are so meaningful. They directly reflect my personal Spiritual journey in 2009. This year, and this journey, will certainly be considered one for my spiritual record book.

I'm Feeling...

In the spirit of another blog I just read,

I am feeling...

• quite fatigued over the humid hanging in the air.
• like I sweat my weight this week - which wasn't pretty.
• interested in the book I am reading (Epicenter, by Joel Rosenberg).
• in awe over what God is teaching me through memorizing scripture.
• mommy guilt over working and personal pursuits.
• enthusiastic to watch my son's play soccer this weekend.
• bummed that I can't sleep in tomorrow.
• grateful for my husband who is treats me better than I deserve.
• proud of my boys - who while they don't like school, go everyday without complaint.
• anxious about my work.
• concerned over the state of American homes and their impact on people's lives.
  
• intrigued by God's plans for the future.
• proud of myself for eating healthy and losing weight this last month.
• thankful for the life God has given me.
• responsible to give out of my abundance.
• love for my parents, grandparents, and other influential people in my life.

Lord, as I begin this day, may I hear your guidance
and obediently follow. May those around me sense Your love,
and be drawn to experience You.
Happy Friday!

Will the Real Knowledge & Wisdom Please Stand?

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who has called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption of this world caused by evil desires" (2 Peter 1:3-4).

For the past 8 years, I have summed up my life's purpose in one goal: to glorify God. In this time, glorifying God has grown in its definition for me. Within the last 12 months, the definition has focused upon knowledge and wisdom. God gives those who believe and obey Him knowledge and wisdom. And not just a little, but any amount needed to live for Him. Even more, this knowledge and wisdom allows us to know God, to experience Him, and to escape evil. Knowledge of God is revealed by God. It allows believers of God, who seek His knowledge, to be wise and have understanding beyond that of people who do not know God and seek His Truth. This idea is evident in Western culture's knowledge and understanding of evil.

"Too many in Washington today have a modern, Western, secular mind-set that either discounts - or outright dismisses - the fact that evil is a real and active force in history. They insist on interpreting events only through the lenses of politics and economics" (Rosenberg, 2006, 46-47).

As real as God is in my critical thinking, evil is just as real. There is clear evidence of evil in our world: from pornography, molestation, and addictions of all kinds, to suicide bombers, threats of annihilation, and so much more. Evil seeps in through unGodly ideologies at all levels. The most disturbing aspect of unGodly ideologies is that so many of the current, controversial issues are cloaked in human-made costumes meant to pass for Godly Truth. God would never compromise Truth to make peace - never!

"Stop fooling yourselves. If you think you are wise by the world's standards, you will have to become a fool so that you can become wise by God's standards. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. (1 Corinthians 3:18-19).

I see many people in the world claiming knowledge and wisdom who have no resemblance of God. Worse, though, are the people who claim to have God, but whose wisdom is more similar to the world's than it is to God. Prophecy is powerful:

The Lord says, "These people come near me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men. Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent with vanish" (Isaiah 29:13-14).

Wisdom and intelligence without God is dead. An example of this is evident in Rosenberg's (2006) recollection of his first job in Washington immediately before the Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. He writes,

"When I first moved to Washington in January 1990 to work for the Heritage Foundation, it seemed increasingly clear to me that Saddam Hussein was going to invade Kuwait, attack Israel, and draw the world into a bloody new Middle East war.... I was certainly new to Washington and as green as they came. I had no master's or PhD in history or politics of the Middle East. I had lived but a semester in the Middle East, and Israel at that, not in an Arab or Islamic country.... But I could not shake the overwhelming feeling that the experts were about to be blindsided" (44 and 45).

The Washington experts were certainly blindsided in the summer of 1990, and again on September 11, 2001 with much more gusto. The difference between Rosenberg and the others was (and is) knowledge and wisdom revealed to Rosenberg through relationship with God and scripture (i.e., knowledge of good and evil).

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John, and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus" (Acts 4:13).

In God's system of schooling, a life of knowing Him surpasses every level of earned degree known to humankind. Ordinary people with Godly wisdom and knowledge are able to participate in the divine and they are able to escape corruption caused by evil. Worldly knowledge and wisdom eventually drowns even the most intelligent among us.