But God....

Today I worshiped God in the church where I was raised - Centralia, WA First Naz. It's impossible to visit Centralia without reminiscing! Now that I am the parent of a teen, my mind was racing during church - while I was trying to concentrate, of course ;) I sat with Bev McClendon - the mom of one of my high school BFs. She introduced me to people as her "adopted daughter." Ha! As I pondered the past, and as I hugged the folks who've encouraged me and supported me through the years, I clearly realized:

It is not perfect parents, perfect friends, perfect churches, perfect pastors, perfect teachers, perfect communities, or perfect ANYTHINGS that produce "successful" adults out of strange teenagers. For me, it was largely the result of my parents surrounding me with a bunch of folks who loved me, who mentored me, and who simply cared about me. The church is far from a perfect place, and lots of really bad things occur inside and outside of the church, but God.... I've experienced a whole lot of "but God."

So here I am - in the midst of my first year as the mom of a teen - and I am FULL OF FEAR! Not only is the world a different place, but the life my family is living is very different from the life that I lived. My tendency is to control. I don't want my teen to suffer; I want my teen to be happy. I tend to simply think happiness equals success, but does it really?

As I pondered my youth during church today, I recalled some really tough times - times when I was truly and deeply hurt and unhappy; times when I am certain that my mom was wringing her hands, feeling stressed out that her daughter would survive adolescence as a whole, healthy person. But God.... Others have modeled "but God..." throughout my life, and I have received this truth. Linda Dillow writes:

"God, don't let my pain be wasted. Use it to conform me to Your image. Use it to teach me how to be content" (Calm My Anxious Heart).

I know with absolute certainty that God uses the challenges in my life, rather the comforts of my life, to make me more like Him. My prayer has always been that He would shape my boys to become Godly men with deeply held passions to serve Him in some way. With that prayer, I realized today that I also need to allow them to experience growing pains - just like I did. It stinks, and I really don't like it. The momma bear in me wants to protect and control. But God.... The Christ-follower in me says, "that control was never yours to have, Heidi."

I have learned some keys to successful parenting through the years. Mostly I have learned to love, to give them to God, to love some more, to allow consequences, to allow growing pains, to try really hard NOT to think that I am in control! In this phase of life, I am learning about "But God..." all over again in a whole new way!