Can there be a Same Difference?

For quite some time I have been thinking about the impact of childhood and family upon one's belief system. I'll be the first one to admit that my beliefs resemble my parents and grandparents. I admire my parents and grandparents; I've closely watched their lives; and I seek to model many of their beliefs and behaviors. Some of those beliefs and behaviors are quite natural to model.... A phrase I grew up hearing in the midst of an argument is: "It's the same difference!" or simply, "Same difference!". Hundreds of phrases and words are included in my vocabulary based on my home of origin. It's no wonder home is so influential in thought processing!

The idea of being most familiar with the beliefs of our heritage appears to be one of the motives behind the current book I am reading and the previous book I read - The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible by A.J. Jacobs and The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose. Both of these authors are journalists desiring deeper understanding of people who call themselves religious. They recognize the "religious right" as one of America's stereotyped people-groups. To be enhance their careers, these two authors immersed themselves(sort of) in a religious sub-culture to gain personal understanding. I respect Jacobs and Roose (and I enjoy their writing).

From my perspective, Roose more than Jacobs held an open-mind throughout their individual immersion experiences. Both men had relationships to lose if they had turned to God - mainly important familial connections. Both men expressed the tremendous influence of their family and friends in developing their personal belief system. On a number of occasions, Jacobs expressed his inability to embrace even the possibility of Godly Truth and purpose in his experiences. Roose, on the other hand, at least led me to believe he was close to entertaining the impact of Godly Truth. This begs the questions: How much does our upbringing and family impact our personal belief system? And, is this right and good? Another author clearly expresses this phenomenon through her beliefs on abortion:

"But I am also humble enough to recognize that my own morality on a topic like abortion is constructed in context of two important facts: virtually all my friends are pro-choice, as is the social milieu in which I was raised, and a lack of access to abortion would significantly restrict women's autonomy" (Megan McArdle, 2009, found at www.meganmcardle.theatlantic.com).

I respect McArdle - for recognizing the impact of her heritage and friendships upon her belief system - even though I disagree with McArdle, just as I disagree with Jacobs and Roose.

I am currently spending 25 days with my parents in Oregon. One of my dearly held values is close connections with family. As a result, for the 9th consecutive year, I led my sons on a pilgrimage "home" (i.e., Grandma and Grandpa's house). It is a privilege, as well as a priority, because I want my sons to really know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who live thousands of miles from Ohio and our daily existence. Naturally, this is a time for me to reflect upon my belief system and my pursuit of Truth, in relation to my heritage.

I'll be honest - I am socially and politically conservative. I am one of the folks that Jacobs and Roose attempt to understand. And yes, much of my belief system resembles my heritage. This heritage is not perfect, by any means, but it is good and pure and real. The belief systems of my parents, grandparents, and friends gifts me with stability, comfort, and security from the first day of my life to now. The church of my youth is not perfect (by a long shot), but it also does not offend me with threatening and legalistic messages (or, if so, then my God protects me and provides healing). As a result, I maintain a similar belief system as that of my family, and I rely on it heavily in marriage and parenting. Given my life experiences, why would I seek to overhaul my belief system?

At the same time, like Jacobs and Roose, I seek to understand those people around me who espouse radically different belief systems. If I resist this need, then I lack the understanding necessary to engage with a variety of people, and potentially impact (and be impacted by) the lives of people. I seek to be an active citizen of this world - relevant, thought-filled, fully engaged. For these reasons, and more, I consider myself fairly open-minded based on my nearly 40-year-old personal foundation. While I do not have much life experience outside of the USA (which is certainly a limitation), my childhood on the West Coast and my adulthood within the Midwest greatly influence my belief system and critical thought processes.

My relationship with God guides me (which is a Truth that both Jacobs and Roose discover in their immersion experiences). As a person, I can not be perfect, or even always right, but I am created to engage with other people regardless of our similarities or differences. This need to engage and interact fuels my thoughts and my writing. It guides my choices in Bible study, scholarly study, and reading. Placing myself in the position to thoughtfully engage with people is a significant part of who I am created to be in this world.

Differences really are not the same, but understanding differences helps build a foundation of relationship that emphasizes similarities.