Worms or Blessings in Leadership

As 2009 began, my thoughts centered around my plea to the Lord to just get me through June 13th. I really don't like to live this way, but the first half of 2009 promised to be extremely busy - a good kind of busy. In January, I started my 12th (out of 13) master's course in the process of earning a degree in Educational Psychology. In February, I started teaching at MVNU for the first time: University Success Strategies and Reading Success Strategies. In the meantime, the first of each year means heavy duty planning for an annual women's event at MVNU that I coordinate. All of this is on top of being a wife, mother, and my other "3/4-time" job at MVNU. Somewhere in there we had a doctor's appointment for Tyler that led us to schedule surgery for him on March 23.

My class ended last Friday - PTL! The retreat begins this Friday. Oh, and Tyler turns 9 on Friday, I turn 39 on Sunday, and Steve turns 42 next week. Next week is Spring Break for me and the boys. Because Tyler will be recovering from surgery, we will spend the whole break laying low at home - ahhhh. I will start my "final integrative project" at the beginning of April, complete my teaching responsibilities in mid-May, and (hopefully) submit my project by mid-June (which equals GRADUATION!).

Clearly I have not been seeking for things to fill my time - which makes writing this blog all the more odd. I did not decide one day to write a blog. I had been reading several blogs for a few months. During that time, I wondered whether I had anything to blog about. Then, without my seeking it, I believe the Lord just started filling my head and heart with stuff - His stuff. It had to go somewhere... so why not a blog? At first, I responded to the Lord with, "I'll know this is from you if you provide a name for this blog." He gave me Acts 6:7 which led to "Pebbles, Ripples, Circles."

Sometimes I wonder if this is my blog or God's blog - I am seeking for it to be God's blog. I have this fear that my pride or my ego may get in the way of God's plans. 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds me that God knows my intentions, or my heart:

"The Lord said to Samuel, 'Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person's thoughts and intentions" (NLT).

I wrote on Sunday that I planned on keeping my March 1-15 verse for March 16-31. I may do that, or I may memorize 1 Samuel 16:7. Somewhere in my past people have judged me for receiving attention, so I get a little paranoid about taking such an outward position like that of writing a blog. It is safer to fly under the radar, but God doesn't appear to desire that for me. The Lord doesn't make decisions like people... He knows the heart. There is freedom in God's plan rather than man's plan!

God does address the human ego. In Acts 12, Herod Agrippa I is featured. From his example, we know that there is great danger in accepting praise that belongs to God. When Herod Agrippa I accepted the adoration of some Jews who were trying to make peace with him, the Lord punished the leader with an awful death. Herod Agrippa I died from worms that ate him from the inside out - that is simply disgusting!

Tomorrow afternoon I will head to the airport to pick-up our event speaker: Shaunti Feldhahn. From that point on, I will be swimming in details, people, and responsibilities. Pray for me - that the Lord will strengthen me under pressure, that He will be glorified in all things, and that I will give Him all the praise and honor through my thoughts, words, and actions.