The end of the story, sort of.

On several occasions when I was young, I picked up a new book, and read the last page before beginning the first chapter. It was a dumb thing to do! Knowing the conclusion changed the way I read the whole story. Similarly, two discussion topics cause fear to rise within me: end times and death; yet, both topics also intrigue me and give me hope. I know the conclusion, and this knowledge changes me!

I believe in heaven and hell, and I believe in Christ’s second coming to earth to save His people. Neither the finality of death, nor Christ’s Kingdom on earth scares me. In fact, I long for both. My fears are rooted in what will be faced between now and then. Most people do not thrive on pain, discomfort, and persecution. I certainly do not enjoy these attributes of suffering. Pain, discomfort, and persecution are definite aspects of end times, and the first two are likely aspects of death.

As I contemplate my current state of discomfort, and recall similar seasons from the past, I recognize a common theme: I fear what may be faced between weakness and provision. I know God has led us to Idaho, yet I feel uncomfortable with the missing pieces we are facing. Not only is our Ohio house unsold, but no one is even looking at our house. Even though Steve hasn’t started seriously looking for a job in Idaho, he doesn’t have any strong prospects on the table. We are paying rent in Idaho and a house payment in Ohio. I feel discomfort, and I feel a touch of fear relating to the unknown!! Couple this discomfort and fear with the unknowns of what my boys are facing in the transition, and my feelings are multiplied. How does one approach God during these times?

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna… to teach you that man does not live on bread along but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord… to test you so that in the end it might go well with you (Deuteronomy 8: 3 & 16, NIV).

Kelly Minter (2007) writes:

“The manna was not quite enough…. The Lord put them in this position so they would depend on Him and not on themselves, their provisions, or false gods. He wanted to do them good in the end (p. 103).

I approach God with hopeful expectancy; intrigue in how He will provide; and more dependency than ever! From this perspective, I have a renewed sense of purpose in embracing the discomfort, and in overcoming my fears. Does this make the discomfort go away? No, but believing in the end of the story changes the way I approach each new day.

I have nothing to post....

I have nothing to post. This may have something to do with the fact that my life is upside down. I am in Idaho, Steve is in Ohio, and the boys are in Oregon. I am living in a small NNU-owned home with a borrowed futon mattress, a card table, another small table/chairs, an outdoor lounge chair, a TV, and a strange variety of items that I packed in the mini-van to transport from Ohio to Idaho.

Our house in Ohio is not selling; no one is even looking at it; Steve doesn't have a job in Idaho, yet; and, the boys are extremely nervous to start school in Nampa. The dog is even stressed out! On Wednesday, July 7, I thought it was July 10 - ALL DAY! I wrote "7-10" on my checks, corressondence, HR materials.... Laying in bed on Wednesday night, I had an aha moment, "It couldn't be July 10th!" *sigh*

Yet, in everything, I have an unexplainable peace that says, "You are obeying Me. You are in the right place at the right time. I have a plan, and I will provide for you and your family."

I have nothing to post, or maybe... I do.

Another functional idol: People-gods

Truth, with a capital “T,” and idols are polar opposites. I love pondering Truth, and I often fall into idolatry. Idolatry is so much easier than Truth, you know? Kelly Minter (2007) challenges me to consider functional idols (or gods) in my life. These are areas of life that consume me; yet, these areas are not necessarily bad. They are certainly not "big sins" on the worldly sin scale.

I have listed some of my functional gods in previous posts: materialism, perfectionism…. Today Minter (2007) pulled out another dozy: “people-gods.” Oh dear, do we have to go there? Is it necessary?? I love relationships! I love deep, trusting relationships. I LOVE to laugh in relationship. What could be wrong with relationships? How do people become gods?

I remember a significant period in my life when I found great security in friendship, and particularly in having a boyfriend. It was a L-O-N-G time ago, but it is quite fresh in my memory. During that life season, if I was dating, then I felt secure. Similarly, if I held an important position, then I felt secure – particularly if the position signified that I had been chosen. In short, PEOPLE qualified my security level, and I relied on God to fill in the gaps, and/or clean up the messes.

While convenient, addictive, and sometimes fun, people-gods are also a source of insecurity, jealousy, and deep hurt. On the other hand, Godly relationships are a source of maturity, fulfillment, love, provision, and, yes, pain. As Minter (2007) describes, to have both people-gods and Godly relationships is to be double-minded. People-gods are idols, and idols leave less room for God. The ultimate point of life is to know God more fully, and to allow His transformative Truth complete authority within us, so that our lives may reflect His glory, and draw others to Him. In attempting to live double-minded lives, we are diluting His Truth, and His transformative power. The result is a powerless religion that turns people away from God and into themselves.

Hmmm, interesting stuff to ponder....

Am I Peculiar?

I remember a Sunday morning service during my childhood like it was yesterday. A missionary family was visiting our church, and they were standing in front of the congregation. They looked peculiar. For some reason, I remember watching this family, and feeling sorry for their peculiarity. Strange memory to hold for all these years, isn't it?

Perhaps this memory symbolizes something within me that I have attempted to avoid throughout my life. I love up-to-date clothing, home decor, activities, books, technology, thinking.... I don't want to be considered peculiar! Kelly Minter (2007) has challenged me to reconsider peculiarity and identity. Since I am interested in identity formation - this is reflected in my academic and professional pursuits, as well as my introspective nature - this challenge peaks my attention. Minter writes:

Who wants to be a peculiar person? Somehow it was always the extremely out-of-touch individual who was elevated to a super-holy states.... Weird somehow meant holy (p. 36).

Then in 1 Peter 2:9-12:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Based on these verses, Minter (2007) invites us to view peculiarity as goodness - as in a fruit of the Spirit. "The extreme goodness of our lives is the peculiar part. Goodness should be setting us apart in distinctive ways" (p. 38). She goes on to provide another quite profound point:

Fulfilling our sinful desires (that which is the opposite of goodness produced by Godly obedience) will snuff out this burning goodness. By indulging them we actually become the reverse of peculiar and strange. We become -- hold your breathe -- normal. For those of us seeking individualism and distinctiveness, chasing our lusts will only make us like everyone else, with little identity at all (p. 39).

I easily identified three sinful desires that keep me from displaying my identity in Christ: Materialism, recognition, and perfectionism. I don't want to be "normal" with no distinctive identity in Christ. I want to embrace every opportunity possible to know Him and be like Him for the purpose of giving God fame in this world. The three aforementioned desires are me-centered, and they are each very normal in our culture. I am not satisfied with this kind of normalcy....

In the end, I am finding that peculiarity really is my goal!

Minter, K. (2007). No other gods: Confronting our modern-day idols. Nashville: Lifeway.

P.S. If you have a teen girl that needs some inspiration in Godly peculiarity, I highly recommend Robin Jones Gunn's Christy Miller Series and Katie Weldon Series. Christy and Katie call themselves "peculiar treasures" while pursuing Godly relationships throughout adolescence and young adulthood.

As it turned out....

Ruth 2:1-3 (NIV)

"Now Naomi had a relative on her husband's side, 

from the clan of Elimelech, a man of standing, 

whose name was Boaz.

And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi,

'Let me go to the fields and 

pick up the leftover grain 

behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.'

Naomi said to her, 'Go ahead, my daughter.' 

So she went out and began to glean in the fields

behind the harvesters. 

As it turned out, 

she found herself working in a field 

belonging to Boaz, 

who was from the clan of Elimelech."

 Based on these verses, Kelly Minter writes, "It is my hope that we walk away with a heightened sense of what God is doing all around us, even in the seemingly mundane; and that we remember how purposeful He is, how intently He carves our paths, authors each stroke, and weaves our courses into others' lives" (Minter, 2009, p. 51).

As we close this chapter of our lives in Mount Vernon, Ohio, I can't help but reflect on the paths God carved for us here. He gifted us with some beautiful friendships and sweet memories - in the midst of daily living which sometimes felt mundane. Now as this season is ending, and as we say our good-byes, I see the hand of God more clearly. As it turns out, He gave us more in Mount Vernon than I realized during our  day-to-day living. I am sad to leave, but I also know that God is working forward - already carving new paths. 

He sees; He knows; He understands. 

He prepares; He protects; He provides!

Minter, K. (2009). Ruth: Love, loss, & legacy. Nashville: Lifeway.

Longing for an Invite

"We all deeply long to be 'invited to the table'"

(Minter, 2009, p. 76).

This is a KEY FACTOR in my personal insecurities. Belonging to something worthy of pride can drive me, and so can being considered a valuable member of a team. I long to experience acceptance for my abilities and contributions. It feels blessed to be chosen.

BUT....

God must be the driving force. If He is not, then belonging, value, and acceptance become idols. These idols may be functional, but they do not truly satisfy! Idols keep us from fully experiencing God.

I am 40 years old, and I am preparing to begin my first "career job." It will be tempting for me to tie my identity to my title. O Lord, keep me from that sinful desire! Do whatever it takes to remind me that my identity is in You alone. Amen.

Behind the Scenes

"God was working something out for Naomi.... 

He had long been working behind the scenes" 

Ruth: Loss, Love, & Legacy, by Kelly Minter, p. 43).

Isn't this what we long for? Someone working for us behind the scenes.... It is what God does, but do we really believe it? Do we pursue life according to this kind of Truth? I say that I believe it... but my fears and insecurities often tell another story!

As we are transitioning to Idaho, a part of our plan is for Steve to pursue a job that gives him the flexibility he needs to spend more time with our boys. The concept sounds great, but as we approach the actual move, my fears are pushing Steve to find any kind of job. He just smiles at me.... There is nothing like change to reveal the inner person!!

Dear God, help me to live Proverbs 3:5!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

Lean not on your own understanding.